Every escort has dealt with them — the ones who message endlessly but never book. They ask a million questions, dodge deposits, and treat your time like it’s free. They’re called timewasters, and they’re not just annoying — they’re expensive. They cost you energy, money, and sometimes even confidence. The good news? Most timewasters follow predictable patterns. Once you know the signs, you can screen smarter, set firmer boundaries, and spend more time with clients who actually value you. Let’s break down how to spot, block and move on — early.
Who (and What) Is a Timewaster?
A timewaster is someone who contacts a sex worker with no real intention of booking — or who deliberately drags out conversations without respect for your boundaries or time. They may be:
- Lonely but not ready to pay for time
- Entitled and trying to negotiate or bait
- Turned on by the fantasy of chatting without committing
- Hoping for freebies, discounts, or content
- Just plain rude or playing games
You’re not being harsh for screening them out. You’re being professional. 
The Early Warning Signs
Watch out for these classic red flags:
1. “Hey” and Nothing Else
No name. No context. No real effort. Professional clients introduce themselves and state what they’re after. A vague “hey” is often the start of a draining, aimless exchange.
2. Too Many Questions, No Booking Energy
Some questions are fine — but if they:
- Ask things clearly stated in your ad
- Ask personal or invasive questions
- Turn the chat into an interview …they’re stalling.
If they’re not moving toward a date, time, and deposit — they’re wasting your time.
3. Refusal to Pay a Deposit
Deposits protect your time. Anyone who:
- Argues about them
- Demands a “trial” booking
- Claims they’ve “never had to before”
…is likely planning to flake. A serious client sees a deposit as normal. A timewaster sees it as a challenge.
4. Trying to Haggle
“Can you do a deal?” “I’ll pay extra for XYZ.” “How about half hour for half price?” This is never a good sign. Good clients respect your rates — bad ones negotiate like it’s a car boot sale.
5. Pushes for Free Content or Extra Info
If they ask for:
- Photos not included in your ad
- “Just one voice note”
- “Proof you’re real”
- “A little tease for fun”
They’re chasing thrills without paying for them.
6. Weirdly Over-Familiar or Flirty
“Babe, you’re so hot I had to message…” “You’re my dream girl, I swear…” If it feels like they’re using your inbox for validation, they probably are. A professional client keeps it polite, not personal.
How to Handle Them (Without Losing Your Sanity)
Here are some easy tips on how to handle timewasters:
Have a Screening Template
Prepare a simple message like: “Hi, I require a deposit and screening to proceed. Please send your name, preferred date/time, and I’ll send payment details.” No fuss. No back and forth.
Don’t Apologise for Setting Boundaries
You are running a business — not giving out free attention. If someone’s offended that you don’t want to “just chat” — that’s their issue.
Use Blocking Liberally
If it feels off, if they cross a line, or if they’re dragging out the conversation with zero movement — block and move on. You don’t owe them emotional labour or a polite goodbye.
Trust Your Gut
If someone gives you the ick early on, that’s your cue to disengage. Bad bookings start with bad vibes.
Why It’s Not “Just Messages”
Timewasters aren’t harmless. They drain:
- Your mood
- Your emotional energy
- Your availability for actual clients
- Your trust in future interactions
That’s why boundaries and filtering aren’t rude — they’re essential. 
You’re Not Being Mean. You’re Being Smart.
Sex work is full of emotional labour, and every conversation has a cost. You don’t get that time back. You don’t get compensated for wasted mental effort. And you shouldn’t feel bad for prioritising your peace. The more confident you are about blocking nonsense, the more time you free up for clients who deserve it.
The Takeaway
Spotting timewasters early isn’t about being harsh — it’s about being wise. You have the right to guard your time, energy and mental space. Because when you do, you create more room for respectful, rewarding bookings that actually pay off. For more support, strategies and advice on navigating the sex industry, visit the Vivastreet blog.
