Young Woman Using Dating App on Mobile Phone⁠

Should you tell your match you’re a sex worker?

Happy Online Romance Day!

Yes, this is a real day dedicated to love, connections, and relationships formed online. May 14th is the time to send your online beau some digital love.

To celebrate Online Romance Day, we’re looking at what it means to use dating apps as a sex worker. Depending on how you approach the apps, you might need a few extra tips and tricks that non-sex workers might not think about. And that’s why we’re here.

Scroll down to learn how to navigate dating apps and online romance as a sex worker.

One of the main issues when dating as a sex worker is knowing when to reveal your career to potential dates.

Since the career is still shrouded in mystery and misconceptions, you may fear losing out on potential dates if they know what you do for work. This isn’t right, but it’s a real problem sex workers have to face.

Here are some FAQs about using dating apps as a sex worker.

Should you put your profession on your profile?

Putting your profession on your profile is a bold move. However, it can help you avoid matching with sex work-negative dates. This way, you won’t have to worry about getting to know someone and then facing an unpleasant reaction when they learn about your career.

But it’s not always that simple. Putting your career in your dating app bio risks the chance of someone you know in real life seeing it. This can be a major issue if you’re working discreetly.

Having sex work information on your profile can also attract the wrong kinds of attention. Rather than finding people who want to date and foster genuine relationships, it may attract punters who see it as an advert rather than information about you.

So, putting your sex work profession in your bio ultimately comes down to how you feel about it. If you’re keeping your career a secret and don’t want to discuss it instantly, it’s a good idea to leave it out until you get to know your dates.

However, if you want to filter out people with different views and aren’t afraid of blocking a few punters, go for it!

Couple on a date⁠ leaning their heads against each other and holding red wine

When should you tell your date you’re a sex worker?

Let’s say you don’t want to put your profession in your dating app profile, and you start chatting with someone who’s kind and caring and makes you laugh.

At what point should you tell them what you do for a living?

This is another answer that depends on your personality. For some, it’s best to tell their date sooner rather than later. This way, you don’t waste too much time if they have a problem with it.

Some would instead explore the connections and pen a few dates before they reveal their career. However, if you take this route, you’ll have to accept that the conversation about jobs will likely come up on the first date. If you’re not ready to reveal your career and tell a lie, the dishonesty could come back to bite you in the future.

Dating app terms and conditions vs sex work

You might think putting your sex work career in your bio is innocent, but some dating apps don’t see it that way.

Even if you’re ready to be honest, you should check through the app’s terms and conditions. Many apps instantly flag and ban profiles that offer sex work services. You could get caught by these rules, and then your chances of finding love on the app are null.

For example, Tinder’s safety policy states solicitation or prostitution of any kind is against their terms of use. If they see a profile hinting at adult services, it will be banned or removed immediately.

Likewise, Bumble also doesn’t permit the commercial exchange of romantic or sexual activity, services, or content. You might not be trying to find new clients, but their algorithm won’t see it this way.

Most sex workers would advise against this, with the most popular way to reveal their job being by text and before a first date.

Tips for finding love online as a sex worker

Sex workers, escorts, content creators, and all professionals within the industry are usually already well-versed in the online world. From creating your own website to using online platforms to find clients, we don’t need to explain the pros of embracing the digital world to you.

However, there are a few extra dating app tips you can use to boost your online connections. Here are the highlights:

1. Do the inner work

Dating involves a lot of telling others about yourself. Again, and again, and again.

So, if you’re not comfortable talking about sex work or your career, you might need to take a step back and reflect on why before you match with anyone. This will make the dating journey much lighter and more enjoyable.

Young man using a dating app⁠

2. Don’t use work photos

Yes, the photos you have on your website might be extremely flattering. But using non-work photos is a great way to separate yourself from your career. You can show your date another side of yourself before they learn about your job.

3. Be realistic

Unfortunately, you might receive some pushback about your career. Though sex work is more normalised than ever, you may still face some rudeness. Remember, this is not a reflection of you but more of a sign that they’re an idiot.

4. Have patience

When you’re ready to date, sometimes people become so excited that they end up latching onto the first connections they find. Rather than going all-in, have patience and consider whether there’s truly a spark before you put all of your eggs in one basket.

The takeaway

Are you ready to get swiping? Or are you still researching before you create your profile? Hopefully, this article has helped you curate a profile and given you some extra tips and tricks for when you take the plunge.

Keep learning about sex work and love on the Vivastreet blog.

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