couple on a date

Is it healthy to set dating goals?

From going on three first dates a week to attending a singles party every month, dating goals are here to help you meet a beau. But how do they work? And do you really need to write a goal list? Today, we’re looking at dating goals and whether they’re right for you.

Keep reading to find out more. 

What are dating goals?

Dating goals refers to setting goals for your dating life. For example, “I want to go on five dates this month” or “I won’t date until I finish my project”.

Dating goals add structure to your dating life, making it easier to manage or set a boundary between you and the pressure to date. For some, this makes navigating the modern dating scene much more accessible. However, for others, it makes dating too rigid and takes away the spontaneous nature of dating.

Dating goals vs relationship goals

Dating and relationship goals both have similar aims – to improve your love life. However, dating goals focus on a single life and meeting new people, whereas relationship goals focus on improving a current relationship.

Are dating goals right for you?

Dating goals are great if you want to take control of your love life. Since they’re an organised approach, they’re perfect for people who already live life orderly. We’re talking to you, planners!

But they’re not only a good idea for those who love spreadsheets. They’re also excellent for anyone who wants to get into dating and doesn’t know how. For example, setting a minimum number of dates helps you get back into the groove.

Likewise, if you’re going through a stressful period and can’t take the thought of dating right now, dating goals could also work for you. You can say, “Okay, I won’t date for a few months.” Many find that a simple goal or boundary like this releases the pressure to date from their minds.

It’s all about experimenting. Try out some dating goals and see how your mind responds to them. If they don’t feel so great, it’s okay – simply forget about them. But if they motivate you to meet new people, awesome! Keep using them.

couple on a date drinking red wine

How dating goals can help you meet new people

Goal setting for singles has been proven to help meet others and forge new connections. While treating your love life like a career might seem strange, it’s worth trying if you haven’t already.

Setting dating goals helps you meet new people because you have a tangible list of aims to meet. Rather than wishing you could meet someone, you have an action plan that motivates you to get out there and go.

Popular dating goals include:

  • Attending a speed dating event every month
  • Arranging ten dates via dating apps in the next two months
  • Join local groups or sports teams to meet new people

Let’s take the goals above. These inspire action. Rather than hoping for a chance meeting at a bar, they’re all about putting yourself out there. Perfect if you’re ready to be in a long-term relationship or simply want to meet new partners.

Benefits of setting dating goals

On the fence about setting dating goals? Let’s look at the benefits that come with this practice:

  • A proactive approach to dating – If you’re tired of waiting to meet someone, goals will inspire you to take action
  • You’ll likely make platonic friends – Alongside meeting a partner, getting out there will also help you make new friends. Perfect for any social butterflies reading!
  • The chance to try new things – From joining a tennis club to a book club, using dating goals will also bring you new experiences
  • Goals can help you build confidence – If you haven’t been in the dating scene for a while, setting dating goals can help you build self-confidence and body confidence
  • Proven to bring results – Whether a fling or a long-term partnership, setting goals and being more active will boost your love life more than passive
  • Fun! – Alongside the points above, dating goals are all about having fun. Going for drinks and getting to know other people is a much more fulfilling experience than spending an evening at home waiting for bedtime. Bring on the romance

Drawbacks of setting dating goals

Before trying anything new, it’s wise to also consider the drawbacks. Using dating goals isn’t right for everyone. Find the potential negatives below:

  • Some prefer slow dating – Slow dating is where you slowly get to know one person. If you’re not interested in playing a numbers game, setting dating goals might not be for you
  • Dating is time-consuming – While it’s fun to go on lots of dates, it’s a time-consuming hobby. Not ideal if you’re overworked or busy with other projects
  • Dating burnout Burnout happens when you’re emotionally, physically, and mentally exhausted. For some, setting so many dates and attending lots of social gatherings can be overwhelming and unpleasant

couple having date night, man holding a woman from the back while pouring wine, dating goals

How to embrace dating goals with a healthy mindset

If you’re interested in setting dating goals, you must approach the topic with a healthy mindset. This means approaching dating with self-love and a focus on growth.

While you may want to find a partner, you must understand that the journey and self-discovery are also crucial factors. It’s also important to acknowledge whether you rely on external validation, as this can cause extra stress and lead to unpleasant dating experiences.

Other ways to embrace healthy dating goals include:

  • Setting realistic goals
  • Being flexible
  • Not beating yourself up if you don’t meet a goal
  • Reflection on your experiences and making behavioural adjustments
  • Using transparent and open communication
  • Setting boundaries where needed
  • Trusting your intuition

When dating no longer feels fun

Using dating goals can be nerve-wracking, but it should ultimately be a fun experience.

If dating no longer feels fun but instead feels stressful or compulsive, it’s a sign that you need to step back and take a break from the apps. There’s no shame in needing a break. Taking time for rest and self-care is critical for being your best self and being there for others.

The takeaway

Dating and meeting new people will always be a hot topic, and there are endless strategies you can use to find a partner. Could dating goals be the technique for you? Hopefully, this blog has inspired you to give it a try! Remember, always put yourself first, and if it starts to feel stressful, you can always stop.

Learn more about sex and relationships on the Vivastreet blog.

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