From pineapples to sex parties, today we’re looking at all things swinging. Whether you’re in the know or not, keep reading.
- What is swinging?
- How does swinging work?
- Does swinging benefit your relationship?
- Swinging vs polyamory
- The benefits & drawbacks of swinging
- Is swinging right for you?
- The takeaway
In this article, you’ll find everything you need to know about swinging, what it is, and whether it’s the lifestyle for you.
Feeling curious? Let’s get into it!
What is swinging?
No, swinging has nothing to do with parks or hoisting yourself into the air. In the adult world, swinging is something very different from a swing set you find in a playground.
Swinging is a type of ethical non-monogamy where a couple engages in sexual intercourse with other people. Usually, this is with other couples. However, there aren’t any set rules.
No two couples swing the same way. But there are some commonalities between most swinging lifestyles. For example, many swingers engage in sexual activities at sex parties or sex clubs. These are planned events rather than meeting other swinging couples by chance.
Who goes swinging?
Most swingers are cis-hetero couples, but this isn’t the only demographic that partakes in the fun. You’ll also find queer couples and singles, too. As long as everybody consents, anyone can swing.
How does swinging work?
Ok, so swinging is all about getting it on with your partner and other consenting adults. But how does it really work?
Typically, swinging will occur as a pre-organised swingers’ party. Everyone invited will know the context to ensure no one gets a sexy surprise. Within the swinging community, there are specific signs that show someone’s opening to swinging. These include:
- Pink flamingos
- Wedding bands on the right-hand
- Pineapples
- Replacing your wedding band with a black band
While these are common signs within the swinging community, ask the person if they’re into swinging before making a move. It’s always better to communicate clearly than to make assumptions!
Once the party or event gets going, swingers will often pair off and get saucy. There are lots of possible dynamics, including partner swapping, watching your partner sleep with others, threesomes with a couple, group sex, and, well, whatever you desire.
Are all swinging events planned?
The majority of swinging events are planned. However, swinging sex can be spontaneous if the mood is right. Again, remember consent is vital. It can be tough to know if that cute couple you’ve spotted at the bar is into swinging. Organised parties take the awkwardness out of approaching others.
How do you join the swinging community?
If you and your partner are curious about swinging, the first step is to find your local swinging community. But this is easier said than done.
The best way to get involved is by connecting with others online. From r/Swingers to official websites (like SDC), there are plenty of places where you can search for local events and speak to like-minded swingers. You can also use dating apps and websites to find swingers and parties in your area. Popular options include Swing LifeStyle, AdultFriendFinder, and SwapFinder.
Before you arrive at any parties, double-check if there are any rules or requirements. Sometimes, parties have etiquette rules and boundaries to keep guests safe.
Does swinging benefit your relationship?
Swinging can take your relationship and intimacy to the next level. However, it can also backfire if both partners aren’t on the same page. As with threesomes or trying new fantasies, communication about your boundaries, desires, and overall expectations is key.
If you approach swinging with understanding and planning, it can improve your sex life, boost your trust, and help you rekindle sexual intimacy. So, take the process slowly and continually check in with how you feel.
Swinging vs polyamory
Swinging and polyamory often get confused since they’re both types of non-monogamy. However, there are some critical differences!
Polyamory is about having different romantic and sexual relationships outside a primary relationship. These can be in separate couples or a group.
Swinging is only about sex with others. Though you’re physically intimate with other people, there aren’t any emotional ties or alternative relationships.
Consider whether you’re interested in making emotional connections with others or not before you close yourself into one box.
The benefits & drawbacks of swinging
Think you’re ready to start swinging? Here’s a quick rundown of the benefits and drawbacks to help you and your partner see whether this saucy pastime is right for you.
Benefits of swinging
- Increases trust and communication between couples
- Can rekindle sexual intimacy
- The chance to try out threesomes and fantasies
- A non-judgemental place to explore sexuality or queer sex
- Expand your social circle
- Spices up your sex life
- There are swingers all over the world
- Can boost your self-esteem and body confidence
- Possibilities of group sex and voyeurism
Drawbacks of swinging
- It’s hard to approach the topic with a partner
- Swinging is still seen as taboo and is stigmatised
- Swinging parties are hard to organise and can be time-consuming
- There’s a chance of STIs if you don’t practise safe sex
- If not approached in a healthy way, swinging can worsen relationships
Is swinging right for you?
Swinging might work for you and your partner if you approach the lifestyle for the same reasons. It’s not a good idea if you or your partner only get involved to make the other happy. You should both be turned on by the concept of having sex with other couples.
Before you start, make sure you have a lengthy conversation about your boundaries, and make an exit plan if someone feels uncomfortable. This could be by using a safe word or a hand signal.
Remember, if you feel uncomfortable at any time while swinging, you can stop and leave. Like any sexual encounter, no means no.
The takeaway
When approached in a healthy way, swinging has the potential to transform your sex life and strengthen your relationship. So, if you’re both interested, this is your sign to dive in. Just make sure you use open and honest communication throughout the process and take things slow if you feel overwhelmed.
Read more about sex and relationships on the Vivastreet blog.
