close up of a woman's bum on top of a man in the bed

Queening: The empowering sex position you need to try

Everyone wants to give their partner the best experience possible. And if you’re looking to treat your partner like royalty in the bedroom, you might want to try out “queening”, an empowering sex position that can bring pleasure and spice to your sex life.

If you’re familiar with facesitting, you might already be familiar with queening, as these two sex positions are essentially the same. And while queening is prominent in the BDSM community, it isn’t exclusively for BDSM practitioners.

But before trying it out yourself, you need to know a couple of things. That way, you try out a new position safely and ensure that both parties are having fun during the whole thing.

And today, we’ll explain all of that and more, so keep reading.

What is queening?

While it might sound complicated, queening is a pretty simple sex position. This is also called facesitting, and it’s exactly what it sounds like. Queening is an oral sex position where the receiver “sits” on top of the giver’s face so that they can receive oral sex while also being in an empowering position.

Typically, the receiver in these situations is a woman. However, anyone can try out facesitting as long as both people are ready and willing to try out the position.

Why is it called queening in the first place?

Well, if you’re the giver in the situation, you can view your partner as the queen, and your face is her throne. That way, the giver can get really close to their partner and give them as much pleasure as possible while the receiver feels like royalty being given extra special treatment.

Sitting on your partner’s face and receiving oral sex is a great way to spice things up. When you sit on their face, you’re put in a position of power, which is why the position is prominent in the BDSM community. On top of that, you also give your partner a chance to really get intimate with your body and provide you with pleasure.

Many people also enjoy being sat on or being the throne for their queen. It allows them to immerse themselves in their partner’s body while also eating them out. And since they don’t exactly get to see their partner, they may get even more turned on by the sounds and movements they make while on top of them.

The origins of this empowering sex position

If you head to the Urban Dictionary definition of queening, it defines queening as an “ancient art where the woman squats down on her partner’s face and rubs herself on the giver’s face, mouth, tongue, and lips“. The website then indicates that the sex position originated in ancient Egypt.

And while this is a great story, its accuracy of it is fairly contested. No one knows which culture thought of facesitting first. However, it’s easy to assume that humans have been giving each other oral sex for a long time, and at some point, someone decided to sit on their partner’s face and give their partner a new way to explore and pleasure them.

Is queening the same as facesitting?

Yes, queening is the same thing as facesitting. These are two interchangeable terms, so it’s easy for people to get confused between the two. However, if a person says that they want to try out queening, it means the same as facesitting and vice versa.

With that said, while it may seem like you literally “sit” on your partner’s face when in this position, this isn’t the case. Queening can be quite a thigh workout for the receiver, as you need to support a fair amount of your weight to ensure you aren’t suffocating your partner.


woman sitting on a man in the bed

Why is queening such a turn on?

So, why are people so hot about queening?

It’s fun

Well, to start, it’s a whole lot of fun. For a lot of people, queening is a new way to perform and receive oral sex. Oral sex is very important for many couples, with some preferring it over penetrative sex. And while the regular positions are fun and all, this is a great way to put a new spin on things in the bedroom.

It makes you feel powerful

For the receiver, there are tons of things that can attract you to queening. For one, it puts you in a unique position of power when having sex. When you sit on your partner’s face, you are given way more control over your pleasure.

It makes “hitting the spot” easier

Queening puts a lot of emphasis on the clitoris, which is crucial for cisgender women’s orgasms. And when sitting on their partner’s face, the receiver can make small adjustments to ensure their partner is hitting the right spots. And since not being able to hit the right spots is a problem for a lot of men, this is a great way to put the fun back into oral sex.

You get closer to your partner

If you’re the giver, you still get to have a lot of fun when queening. To start, there’s something really hot about being that close to your partner while pleasuring them. On top of that, pleasuring your partner is also a huge turn on for most people, so hearing and feeling their reactions to you while they are on top is a lot of fun.

The feeling of “suffocating” can be a turn on

And while we mentioned that you aren’t supposed to put all your weight on the partner while queening, you can put a bit of weight, especially if your partner enjoys oral asphyxiation. The slight suffocation that you receive when someone sits on your face can give you a huge rush and is why a lot of people are into having their partner sit on their face.

It puts the woman on “top”

Another reason people enjoy queening is that it flips the narrative. In traditional straight, cis-gendered intercourse, the man is usually the dominant partner. The traditional narrative usually has the woman doing all they can to please the man, and when the man is done, the sex is over.

Queening is the exact opposite of this sexual narrative. When queening, you are worshipping the woman and serving her. This puts her on a pedestal and prioritises her pleasure, a new way many of us need to approach sexual intercourse.

So, if you’re ready to change things up in the bedroom and introduce a new sexy dynamic, you might want to ask your partner if they’ll be interested in facesitting.

Pros & cons of queening

While queening can be a lot of fun and empowering, this position has ups and downs. Don’t worry; all sex positions and sex acts have their own set of pros and cons, so this is completely normal. However, it’s important to understand the pros and cons before trying it out so that both you and your partner are as informed as possible.


  • A great way to enjoy oral sex for both parties
  • Flips the traditional narrative of cisgender intercourse
  • Gives the receiver a new level of control
  • A new way to get intimate with your partner
  • Relatively easy to do


  • Can be tiring for both the giver and receiver
  • Not everyone enjoys oral sex

How to try out queening for the first time

If both you and your partner are interested in trying out queening, take note that there are some things to keep in mind before doing so. This is because queening isn’t the most popular sex position, and you want to make sure you’re doing this properly and safely with your partner.

Make it comfortable for both of you

To start, you want to make sure you have a pillow for the giver. This is because they are going to have to raise their head a bit to reach the receiver’s clitoris, and you don’t want them to strain their neck while doing so. Additionally, you want to make sure you have enough space on the bed to sit on your partner’s face to avoid any accidents.

From there, the giver can lay down on the bed then the receiver can proceed to place their genitals over their face. One thing to remember when queening is that you aren’t supposed to put all your weight on your partner. This can suffocate them and be very uncomfortable.

So, as the receiver, you need to prop yourself up a bit using your legs. This is what can make facesitting pretty tiring for the receiver as well, which is something to keep in mind.

Communicate with each other

Once everyone is in position, the giver can start performing oral sex like they usually would. The advantage of the receiver in this position is that they can adjust their body depending on their needs so that their partner knows what they want.

If the giver doesn’t mind, the receiver can also put a bit of their weight on the giver’s face. This can provide a bit of erotic asphyxiation while also allowing them to get closer to the clitoris. But remember, not everyone is comfortable with this, so it’s important to communicate with your partner the entire time.

As the giver, don’t feel shy to explore your partner’s body with your hands. Since you can’t see your partner, feeling different areas of their body with your hands can be very arousing and enhance the experience even further.


close up of a woman sitting on a man in the bed

Variations in the queening position

The queening position on its own is great, but you can always put your spin on it. To start, the receiver can face the opposite direction. This allows them to give the receiver oral and perform “69”, but it also gives you a different view while receiving oral.

If the giver is an ass person, then facing the other direction can also be really hot for them.

Another way to treat the receiver like royalty is by having them sit on the edge of the chair. From there, the giver can get down on their knees and please their partner. While this isn’t a traditional take on queening, it still reverses the narrative and empowers the receiver, which is one of the main benefits of queening.

Let them treat you like a queen

Oral sex is a lot of fun. And if you’re looking for a new way to explore it with your partner, queening could be the position you need to try. So, now that you know all about it, it might be about time to talk to your partner to see if they’re willing to try out queening in the bedroom.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Related Posts

Begin typing your search term above and press enter to search. Press ESC to cancel.

Back To Top