When was the last time you felt cared for?
DDLG relationships often take newcomers by surprise. With strong power structures and age play, this kink isn’t for everyone. However, DDLG relationships are likely more common than you expect.
Are you interested in caregiving or being cared for? This kink could be for you. In this blog, we’re exploring the world of DDLG and what it means to partake in a DDLG relationship. It might not be as sexual as you expect!
Scroll down to learn more.
What is DDLG in BDSM?
You might not have heard of this dynamic before, as it’s one of the lesser-known kinks. DDLG stands for ‘Daddy Dom, Little Girl and as the name suggests, there’s one dominant “daddy” partner and one submissive “little” in this dynamic. However, this doesn’t mean that the “little” should be underage and this type of relationship should always be explored between two willing partners of legal age.
While the name suggests this is a heterosexual kink, the genders and roles can be reversed. Alongside the dominant “mommy”, you can also find LGBT pairings. The main focus is on a caregiving partner and a submissive “little”.
DDLG relationships fall under the BDSM umbrella due to their power structures. There are many different dynamics within the BDSM world, and DDLG is one of the many you can experiment with.
Like all BDSM-related relationships, the structures of the relationship will differ slightly for all couples. There’s no right or wrong as long as there’s a dominant and submissive dynamic.
Let’s delve deeper into the DDLG community.
Terms in the relationship
If you’re interested in knowing more about the DDLG community, you’ll have to learn some key terms first. Remember the terms below to help you understand the structure of this unique kink.
- Daddy dom – A daddy dom is the dominant party in the relationship. As previously mentioned, this role doesn’t have to be male, but it’s more common for a man to be dominant in the DDLG dynamic. The daddy dom usually takes care of their little like a parent, making them feel loved and secure – different from the usual dominant BDSM position
- Little – The little is the submissive half of the DDLG dynamic. This party takes on the younger character and receives care and love from their dom
- Little space – When a little is engaging in their younger personality it’s referred to as being in their “little space”. Like submissives and BDSM “subspaces”, the little can be more vulnerable here
- Caregiver – Caregiver is a term that refers to the authority figure for the little. Caregiver is often shortened to CG
- Ageplay – Ageplay is a type of roleplaying where two consenting adults treat each other as though they’re different ages. This is seen when the littles enter their little space
Does DDLG have to be rough?
It’s often assumed that DDLG relationships include a rough element as they’re linked with BDSM. This isn’t often true, though. The main purpose of DDLG relationships is to provide care and love, not to humiliate and hurt.
Some daddy doms will discipline their little, especially if they misbehave, but this is a rarer dynamic. Instead, you’ll find littles engaging in a loving relationship with their caregivers.
Does it have to involve sex?
Nope, DDLG relationships don’t have to be sexual.
This is a surprise for newcomers, but you don’t have to have sex if you don’t want to. Of course, many DDLG couples engage in foreplay or intercourse, but this isn’t the play’s main focus.
When DDLG couples do engage in sex, they often take the form of common BDSM practices. This ranges from master/slave relationships to pet play. If it has an exciting power imbalance, it’s on the menu for these relationships.
DDLG extends past sex and becomes more of a lifestyle choice for those involved. The power exchange between the dominant and submissive is the key focus.
What does a DDLG relationship look like?
A DDLG relationship is often private and behind closed doors. When littles regress into their little space, it’s a private and personal experience. Some DDLG couples experiment with their relationship in public, but this isn’t very common.
In practice, a non-sexual DDLG relationship can help littles reduce stress. When someone takes care of them, they can truly relax and brush off the troubles of modern life. For littles, giving up control is therapeutic. But don’t practise this dynamic with anyone without establishing a great level of trust.
Some couples take the dynamic a step further than others. This involved the dominant making life decisions for the little. Decisions can be as small as clothing choices or as large as having control over their lifestyle.
It’s also common for rules to be in place in these relationships. If these rules are broken, the little might have their belongings taken away, or they could receive a spanking.
Types of DDLG relationships
Within the DDLG relationship space, numerous types of relationships exist. Some roles have more flexible rules than others, which is ideal if you want to take your DDLG relationship at your own speed.
Here are some different types of DDLG roles to know:
- Adult baby – An adult baby role is the youngest age a little can regress to. They’ll play with plushies, have pacifiers, and give up full control
- Little– A little is the most common persona and takes on the submissive part
- Brats – Brats appear in BDSM and DDLG relationships. When in a DDLG setting, brats, while submissive, tend to misbehave as they enjoy being disciplined. These roles are usually submissive, and the player usually enjoys punishment
- Middles – Middles act older than littles and they are more independt but still very submissive
- Kittens – When DDLG and pet play meet, you’ll find kittens. Kittens are submissives that enjoy age regression and becoming animals. Kittens often enjoy cute kitten ears, tails, and collars
- Switches – Not everyone confines themselves to just one role. Those who enjoy dominance and submission can be switches. Switches act as both littles and CGs and will swap whenever they feel like it
How to try a DDLG relationship
Have you noticed a curiosity about DDLG dynamics? Are you drawn to powerplay and alternative relationships? Trying out a DDLG dynamic could work for you.
If you’re interested in DDLG and already have a partner, sit them down and have an honest conversation about your feelings. You might initially feel awkward about your desires, but this is normal. When talking about your kinks and fetishes, give lots of information about your feelings so your partner understands.
If your partner consents to a DDLG relationship, the best course of action is to start slow and build up. Don’t submit all power at once. Start with slow scenes and make sure you research everything too. It’s best to practise DDLG relationships with someone you really trust.
Did you know you can try DDLG play solo? Many littles enter their little space when on their own, and this is how many start exploring DDLG in the first place.
Experiment with your DDLG curiosity by engaging in age-appropriate media, plushies, or adult onesies. Littles often continue their age regression when alone, as it’s a popular way to let off steam and relax after a long day at work.
Myths about DDLG
Like any kink or fetish, DDLG has some myths and misconceptions. Here are some false rumours to ignore:
- DDLG is only about sex. This isn’t true. The truth is actually the opposite. DDLG couples spend more time engaging in non-sexual activities than they do in sex
- Littles can’t make decisions. While some littles give up all power, it’s rare to find DDLG couples that don’t take any time off. The power structures aren’t needed if a little isn’t in their little space
- Littles are immature. Many littles lead fulfilling lives with responsibilities and adult jobs, there’s no immaturity here. Ageplay and regression are popular ways to let off steam – just like any other self-care
Experimenting with different relationship dynamics is exciting. If the DDLG world has caught your eye, it might be time to start exploring, so grab your colouring books and plushies.