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Getting back in the game: How to have sex after a long dry spell

No one wants to go through one, and no one likes admitting that they’re going through it, but a dry spell is something that can happen to anyone at any time. And the thing is, rebooting your sex life is far from easy.

Whether you’ve been single for a while or just haven’t been connecting with your partner, dry spells without sex can get in the way of our lives. On top of that, if you’ve been in a fairly long dry spell, then getting back into the game can be much harder.

But in this article, we’re here to help. Below, we’ll explain what dry spells are, the reasons people might be experiencing a dry spell and the different ways you can break a dry spell.

Read on to learn more.

What is a dry spell?

Before anything, we need to discuss what a dry spell is. That way, it will be easier to explain how to get out of one. The dictionary explains that dry spells are long stretches of time without rain, but that isn’t the dry spell we’re talking about. In this context, a dry spell refers to a stretch of time wherein a person isn’t having sex.

While the term is usually used to describe when women haven’t had sex for a while, it’s now used for men, women, and non-binary people. Generally, it’s considered a dry spell when you want to have sex but aren’t getting it.

And the thing is, this can happen when you’re single and when you’re in a relationship.

Dry spells can get in the way of life. To start, the lack of intimacy when going through a dry spell can take a toll on the mind. People going through extended dry spells may feel a yearning for intimacy, feel self-conscious, and feel mentally exhausted.

Since a dry spell can weigh heavily on a person, it’s important to find ways to get out of one. But before we get into that, let’s first explain some of the reasons you might be experiencing a dry spell in the first place.

Why may someone be experiencing a dry spell?

The most common reason people are in a dry spell is that they’re single and not going out to meet people. When you’re single, you need to make more of an effort if you want to have sex. When you’re in a relationship, it’s easier to have sex as you have a partner whom you can have regular sex with.

If you just got out of a long-term relationship, finding new people to connect with can be hard, so we don’t blame you if it’s been a while since you’ve had sex. And while it can be hard, understand that dry spells are a normal part of life that most people will end up experiencing.

That said, being single isn’t the only reason a person may experience a dry spell. In fact, dry spells are just about as common for people in relationships as for single people.

For example, after some time, you and your partner may not be able to connect with each other intimately. This could be due to the state of your relationship, a general lack of intimacy, your schedules, and more.

One common reason couples go through dry spells is because of busy schedules. If both of you are busy with work, taking care of the kids, and other tasks, it might be hard to find the time to have sex.

If you and your partner are going through a dry spell, remember not to panic. It’s very normal for the frequency of sex in a relationship to diminish over time. However, the intimacy and spark won’t instantly come back without effort. If you want to break a dry spell in a relationship, both parties need to make an effort to reconnect and get intimate with each other.


man holding a phone, looking at a woman's profile photo on a dating app and pressing red heart like button


How to break a dry spell in a relationship?

The best way to break a dry spell when you’re in a relationship is to get to the root of the problem. You can’t work on your relationship and reignite the intimacy between you and your partner until you determine why you haven’t been having sex in the first place. And to do this, you will need to have an open and honest conversation with your partner.

From there, it will be easier to determine what the two of you need to do to break the dry spell. Additionally, make sure not to rush back into things. If you and your partner aren’t connecting in the bedroom, then rushing will not help you at all.

We recommend really taking your time and easing yourselves back into it. This could be in the form of longer foreplay, more conversations about why you aren’t having sex, and more.

Remember, snapping your dry spell is about quality and not quantity, so there’s nothing wrong with going slow.

Other things you can do to snap a dry spell in a relationship is to try out roleplay or other new sex acts. That way, you can bring back some of the fun and excitement that naturally diminishes in the bedroom over time.

How to break a dry spell when single?

Breaking a dry spell when you’re single is very similar to doing so when in a relationship. The process always starts with figuring out the reason you’re experiencing a dry spell in the first place. This could be because you aren’t meeting new people, you aren’t connecting with the people you meet, and more.

A great tip we can give single people looking to break a dry spell is to stop using the term “dry spell”. It’s very important to accept the fact that a person’s sex life will go through ups and downs. And when you take out the term dry spell from your vocabulary, it’s much easier to accept this fact.

Just like with relationships, it’s important to take your time when breaking a dry spell when you’re single. Remember, there’s nothing wrong with taking a break from sex for a while. And if you don’t feel the immediate need to break your dry spell, then you don’t need to.


lesbian african american couple holding hands while resting on bed


Dry spells and escorts

If you’re really looking to break your dry spell, contacting a sex worker or escort may be a great option. When you break your dry spell with an escort, there’s less pressure, and you get to learn a great deal about the way you have sex. While this might not be the route for everyone, there’s nothing wrong with contacting an escort to look for ways that you can break your dry spell. In fact, according to our latest findings, hiring an escort has helped people with loneliness and made them more confident.


Dry spells can get in the way of our regular lives, but they are also very natural and nothing to worry about. Regardless of who you are, how you identify, and where you live, dry spells will be a part of life. And while you don’t need to break dry spells immediately, we made sure to discuss the best ways to get out of your dry spell above.


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