Ever struggled with knowing how to flirt?
If you’re socially awkward or not a natural-born flirter, showing someone that you are romantically attracted to them can be difficult.
It’s perfectly normal to feel nervous around someone you fancy. Luckily, there are things you can do to become a master flirter.
What is flirting?
Simply put, flirting is social and sexual behaviour that indicates that you are romantically or sexually interested in someone.
It’s usually playful in gesture and involves suggestive body language and communication in an attempt to get a response.
When flirting, it’s important to keep a balance between revealing your emotions, while at the same time keeping your love interest intrigued.
If you want to know how to flirt like a pro, these flirting tips will help make the art of flirting become second nature, and potentially lead to something more.
How to flirt
Our flirt guide below shares the best ways to up your flirting game and learn how to flirt with girls or guys like a pro, whether it be in text or in person.
Make eye contact
It’s a powerful indicator that you’re interested in them and you think they’re attractive. The trick is to try and meet their gaze and hold it for a few seconds before looking away – and repeat it a few times. Flirtatious eye contact can even boost their feelings of attraction to you. Likewise, a study revealed that an unbroken gaze can increase feelings of passionate love between people.
Don’t be afraid to smile
Not only does it make you more approachable and attractive, but it can display genuine affection and romantic interest. Instead of breaking out into an instant grin, slowly ease into a smile with long-lasting eye contact for a sexy appeal. Try to smile with your eyes too, it’ll light up your whole face which will accentuate the sparkle in your eye.
Give them a compliment
But make sure it’s sincere and don’t go overboard. It will make the person feel good about themselves and let them know what you truly think of them. Play it safe and compliment their eyes, smile, lips, hair, physique or outfit. Although it might be tempting, keep your admiration for their body respectful, or better yet, to yourself. If you’re texting, think about how they make you feel or portray themselves in their messages. Are they funny? Smart? Kind? Sweet? Attentive? If you’re messaging each other on social media or on a dating app, is their profile or display image appealing? Whatever it is, let them know.
Find out what they think of you
Don’t be shy – most people enjoy sharing advice and feel flattered that their opinions are valued. A cheeky tactic to find out if they find you attractive or like a particular thing about you, is to indirectly draw out their thoughts. You can ask something like “should I dye my hair brown or leave it brown” or “do you think I should cut my beard or keep it”. These types of questions will make your love interest feel like you want to impress them and look good for them. When messaging, you can even send over a nice picture of yourself to demonstrate or give them a subtle reminder of what you look like to get their heart racing.
Use appropriate touch
Breaking the touch barrier is a strong indicator that you fancy someone. Whether you lightly touch their arm or knee while talking to them or ‘accidentally’ initiate physical contact by brushing them as you walk by, this is likely to form a connection or at least give you the attention you’re looking for. If they respond by moving close to you, they are likely interested in you too.
Use body language to communicate your intentions
As the adage goes ‘actions speak louder than words’. If you’re truly interested in someone it will probably come naturally, but communicate your feelings and intentions with non-verbal cues. Avoid crossing your arms and legs, as this can give a defensive, disinterested or aloof impression. Keep your stance open to look inviting and available and turn your body towards them or face them as much as you can, so they can notice you.
Unlike face-to-face communication, when texting, you cannot decipher each other’s body language, facial expressions or tone of voice, causing your messages to sometimes get lost in translation. If you really want to know how to flirt over text, the use of emojis can help you express yourself further while clarifying and adding context to your messages. For example, responding to their greeting with a grinning emoji with smiling eyes (e.g., “Hi 😃”) can imply that you’re really happy to hear from them. Try not to get carried away with emojis, as this can sometimes be overbearing and have the opposite effect of making your messages confusing.
Have a sense of humour
Using humour while flirting is an attractive trait and generally makes people feel at ease and comfortable. It’s even a universal cliche that women love a man that can make them laugh. Not only does it signal your emotional intelligence, but makes you a person they will naturally want to be around. Jokes can work against you sometimes, so don’t force it, be careful not to be offensive, don’t use sex to flirt, and avoid making jokes about others, as it can come across as mean. If you’re communicating via text, you can show off your sense of humour by responding with some funny memes or GIFs now and again.
Show off your witty side
Witty banter can be a huge turn-on and is probably the most thrilling way of flirting. Going back and forth with humorous and quick-witted comments keeps the spark alive. It also shows you’re playful, smart, and paves the way for some fascinating conversations.
Keep interactions short and sweet
Playing it cool and limiting your interactions with them can work in your favour, especially if they have already shown signs that they like you. Being a little reserved can make you appear more enticing, and can even pique their curiosity towards you. After you’ve put in the work to spark initial interest, pull back a little, and wait for them to seek you out. It’s a sure-fire way to gauge interest and build up sexual tension.
Show interest in their life
When you take an interest in a person’s life, it makes them feel special, valued and worthwhile. Generally, people love to talk about themselves as it gives them a feel-good buzz. So taking the time out to get to know someone else while putting all the amazing facts about you on hold can appear selfless and displays genuine interest. Have eye contact, don’t interrupt or impose your opinions and solutions, and stay focused. If you’re texting you can say things like “tell me a bit more”, “let’s pause to make sure we’re on the same page”, or “really?” Also, be sure to ask further questions to show you are paying attention to the details, as long as they are not too personal or intrusive.
Get your flirting game on
Believe it or not, you now know how to flirt with a guy or girl.
Just relax, take things easy, don’t overthink it, and you’ll find that your nerves may subside.
Remember to try not to be overbearing, as excessive flirting can be a little pushy and awkward for some. Also, if you’re interested in sex, don’t be too explicit about it, as this can be off-putting.
If you think they’re not interested, don’t be disheartened, as they may just be having a rough day or can even be nervous themselves.
Just give it a shot another day or accept it as a learning experience – you’ll be a better flirt next time.
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