african american woman disappointed with a man's penis size

What is small penis humiliation, and why is he into it?

Small penis humiliation is, essentially, the consensual act of one person verbally humiliating the other about the size of his penis, although the practice can include some consensual physical acts of ‘torture’ as punishment for the lack of size. 

Unless you are in a relationship with someone who knows what they’re doing, SPH can be disastrous, especially the first time you try it. 

Hiring a professional dominatrix will give you the best experience possible, with someone who knows exactly what she’s doing, and who has your safety and boundaries at the forefront of her mind. 

The search facility at Vivastreet will allow you to find a host of BDSM professionals who will satisfy your needs while you explore whether SPH is right for you.

If you would like to try this with a partner, though, here are a few things you should know before you start.

Do you need to have a small penis to enjoy SPH?

Surprisingly, a small penis isn’t a prerequisite for SPH, and many men of average or even larger than average-sized manhood get turned on by being told that they’re just too small. 

The average length of a flaccid penis in the UK is between 3 and 4 inches, while an erection can increase it to between 5 and 6 inches. Girth-wise, without an erection a man will measure on average between 3 and 4 inches, while hard he would probably be between 4 and 5 inches. 

Is it a popular fetish?

Although technically being mocked for your manhood, or lack thereof is cruel for most people, the truth is there is a small community of men who thrive on this type of humiliation.

Dr Dulcinea Pitagora – an NYC psychotherapist and sex therapist – says that many men who are already into BDSM claim that succumbing to SPH actually gives them back the control over their size, or lack of it. 

This idea is further backed up by relationships counsellor Miss Couple. She explains that it can be turned into a “corrective emotional experience” in which past traumas can be used to give the man power by owning his size, and allowing others to comment, laugh, and mock them, with the key word here being ‘allow’. 

After years of feeling inadequate, they are now using what they have to their own ends.

It seems that it’s not a small phenomenon, either. According to reports, thousands of  British men are seeking relief from their ‘problem’, and will either actively search for a partner who will indulge in their fantasy, or turn to paid services through sex workers

While studies into SPH itself are scarce, there is plenty of research into sexual humiliation. One study in Finland of 184 S&M practitioners showed that a massive 70% had recently taken part in verbal humiliation, suggesting that humiliation, in general, is extremely popular in the S&M world.


woman mocking man's penis


Why are men turned on by small penis humiliation?

According to a Harvard study, 46% of men admitted to being involved in some type of BDSM activity, and humiliation was right up there at the top of the list.

Dr Kate Balestrieri – a Licensed Psychologist and Certified Sex Therapist – explained that while some men are simply turned on by the classic sub/dom aspect, others use it as a way to take back control. 

It’s also a way for powerful men in high-stress jobs to surrender their masculinity and have someone else in charge. 

If the man has a partner who is happy to practice SPH, the fact that he is loved despite his size can also be a huge turn on, and the trust and vulnerability it takes to open himself to ridicule can be a great release for him. 

Are there different types of SPH?

As with all genres of sexual activity, small penis humiliation comes in different forms.


Some men enjoy having their penis compared to a woman’s clitoris and might even be ordered to masturbate as if they had a clit rather than a penis, by only stimulating the very tip rather than the shaft.


Roleplaying is a fun way to add SPH into your sex life, with many partners taking on the role of, say, a nurse at a sperm bank, tutting at the size and inefficiency of her patient’s penis. Those who enjoy this fetish can really play the part by dressing up and setting the scene to add more realism to the act.

Public humiliation

Many men go one step further with public humiliation, having not just their partner make fun of their size, but other people, too. This could be an imaginary scenario or can oftentimes be played out for real.

For example, a less endowed man might be made to be a life model at an art class with his less-than-adequate manhood on display for all to see and mock. Or perhaps a day at a nudist beach where other bathers get to see his small penis, with his partner constantly ridiculing him.


Then there is the practice of cuckolding. Cuckolding is essentially getting turned on by watching your partner have sex with another person. It doesn’t have to pertain to small penis humiliation, but it can certainly be incorporated into it.

 A common insult to a man with a small penis – real or imagined – is that he can’t satisfy a woman, so having her have sex with another man can add a whole and very visual new level to the practice. 

Whether he watches, listens, or carries out menial tasks while his partner enjoys sex with someone else is up to the couple involved.

Is small penis humiliation linked to any other fetishes?

Of course, SPH crosses over into the realms of BDSM, with sadomasochism involved as well as sub/dom roleplaying, but what about other fetishes?

Chastity play can go hand in hand with small penis humiliation because it involves the use of a chastity belt or cock cage so the man can’t touch or use his penis to either pleasure himself or his partner. 

The man is then often reduced to finding other ways to please his partner, for example through oral sex. This method also incorporates orgasm denial; as the partner has the key to the belt or cage, the man won’t be able to climax without their consent. 

Another erotic part of chastity play is that it gives ‘ownership’ of his penis to his partner, which in itself can be a huge turn on for a submissive man and for a dominant partner. 

Cock and ball torture, or CBT for short (not to be confused with cognitive behaviour therapy), is often used to add pain to the pleasure.

A fetish in its own right, CBT can involve slapping, pinching, or even kicking the balls, or using a leather or steel stretcher to literally stretch his balls. 

Other methods include using a device to slowly crush his scrotum, and what’s known as parachuting, which involves the use of a scrotum collar with weights attached, so his balls are being dragged down. These methods are not for the inexperienced, though, as they could cause permanent damage.

Is it safe?

Small penis humiliation is a safe practice for both parties, as long as everything is consensual. 

If it’s not something that is agreed on beforehand, mocking a man’s penis size – especially if he is on the smaller side – could have devastating consequences. 

Without prior consent and a passion for kink, humiliating a man in this way could cause untold mental distress and leave him with a lifelong self-loathing 

In order to make small penis humiliation work for you, it’s essential that you have a discussion beforehand to set some ground rules and talk about your feelings regarding the experience. 

If one of you isn’t quite sure about taking part, then don’t go any further.

As with most kinks, you will need to set up a safe word so that if at any point one of you has had enough, everything stops. This must be adhered to without question and without being used against either participant.


woman laughing at a man's penis


Some things to consider

Make sure that what happens in the session stays in the session. While SPH can be erotic during a pre-agreed period, once that time’s up all humiliation should stop. 

Offer plenty of reassurance that what is said within that timeframe is not an accurate reflection of how you really feel and that you are perfectly happy with things the way they are. 

Never, ever use any SPH in an argument or in anger, either (unless that is part of your session).

It’s also vital that you discuss no-go areas. For example, if their weight is an issue for them, don’t refer to it. 

If they have jealousy issues, don’t threaten to take other partners. If they have hang-ups about their ability to please in the bedroom, don’t mock their lovemaking skills. 

Small penis humiliation is one thing, but targeting their insecurities is simply cruel and could cause horrific damage to their self-esteem and to your relationship. 

Will you be trying SPH?

Small penis humiliation is definitely on the rise; a quick search for ‘small penis humiliation videos’ will reveal some 38,500,000 results, but what if you are new to the world of BDSM in general and SPH in particular? 

Vivastreet allows you to find a professional dominatrix who will happily introduce you to the world of small penis humiliation in a safe environment.

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