girl in red underwear holds out her hand with a key hanging on a chain

Chastity play: When denial becomes fun

It’s no secret that many people enjoy the thrill of sexual denial. For some, it’s about denying themselves pleasure until the end. For others, it’s the teasing and torture that comes with denying someone else ultimate pleasure.

But what if you could have both? What if you could enjoy the teasing and anticipation of denial while still indulging in those delicious moments of ecstasy?

That’s where chastity play comes in. It allows both partners to discover each other more sexually, have a more diverse sexual life, and ultimately have a healthier relationship.

Read on to find out how to get started.

What is chastity play?

Chastity play is all about teasing and denying yourself and your partner the pleasure of sex. By putting a chastity device on, you’re essentially saying, “I’m not allowed to touch myself or have sex, no matter how much I want it”.

Of course, this only works if both you and your partner are on board with the plan. It will be frustrating for both of you if you’re not. But if you are, then chastity play can be a fun and naughty way to spice up your sex life.

There are a few different ways to go about it. You could start by simply not having sex for a week or two. Then, when you finally do have sex, it will be that much more special and intimate. Or you could try wearing a chastity device for longer periods. This will test your willpower and make the eventual release that much more intense.

Whichever way you choose to play, make sure that you communicate with your partner and establish some mutually agreed-upon rules beforehand. That way, everyone is on the same page, and you can avoid any potential hurt feelings or misunderstandings. And above all else, have fun.

Male vs female chastity

Although it is often considered a strictly male thing, chastity can also involve women. That being said, unfortunately, female chastity belts don’t work very well. Genital pleasure for women relies much less on external stimulation than it does for men. This means that women can easily climax even when wearing steel panties and with muscle contraction.

And for this reason, we will mainly cover male chastity.

For many men, the idea of being chaste – or celibate – is seen as a way to control their sexual urges and become more spiritual. In contrast, many view chastity as a way to enhance their sexual pleasure.

By abstaining from sex, these men believe that they will be able to experience greater pleasure when they finally have sex. In addition, some men see it as a way to show their commitment to their partner.

Also, when abstaining, it shows a willingness to wait for their partner instead of having sex with someone else. Whether it is for spiritual or physical reasons, chastity can be an important part of many men’s lives.

Male chastity in BDSM

In a BDSM setting, the submissive partner gives up control of their orgasms to the dominant partner. Chastity play should be based on mutual desires and respect between partners.

The submissive usually wears a c*ck cage, which is a device that prevents masturbation and orgasm. The dominant holds the key to the cage. This setup can be really hot because it takes away the sub’s ability to get themselves off, leaving them completely at the mercy of the dominant partner.

The dominant can then decide when and how the sub will orgasm, if at all. This can create a lot of sexual tension and frustration for the sub, which can be a huge turn on. It also gives the dominant a lot of power and control over the sexual relationship.

If you’re interested in trying out chastity play, communicate with your partner beforehand to make sure it’s something both of you want to try.


naked man hand holding padlock locked metal chain chastity belt over underwear

How does chastity play work?

Chastity play can be an incredibly hot and erotic experience for both partners. One partner agrees to refrain from sexual activity, while the other partner takes on the role of “keyholder”. This can mean that the keyholder decides when and how often the other partner can have orgasms. It can also mean that the keyholder has complete control over the sex life of the relationship.

Either way, it can be a hot way to add extra spice to your sex life. The partner wearing the chastity device surrenders all control and lets their partner take charge. For the keyholder, it can be a way to call all the shots and have their partner begging for more. Chastity play can be an incredibly hot and erotic experience for both partners.

What is the appeal of chastity play?

Chastity play is a popular kink for a reason – it combines the best of both worlds, offering the opportunity for both dominance and submission. For submissives, surrendering control of their sexuality and being completely helpless can be immensely satisfying. They cannot experience sexual pleasure without permission and are forced to place their trust in their dominant to determine when and how they will be released.

Dominants enjoy the power and control that comes with it. When a submissive is locked in a chastity device, they are completely at the mercy of their dominant partner. Knowing that they can’t masturbate or have any sexual release unless they allow it is a huge turn on.

What’s more, chastity play can be tailored to fit any dynamic, from the most vanilla to the most extreme. Whether you’re looking for a little extra excitement in your bedroom or you’re ready to take your kink to the next level, chastity play might be for you.

Are there any risks to male chastity?

There are a lot of myths about male chastity. Some may think it’s dangerous or that there are health risks involved. But is this really true?

Let’s have a look at the real risks of male chastity, so you can make an informed decision about whether it’s right for you.

Prostate cancer

That’s right – regular ejaculation may lower the risks of prostate cancer, which is definitely something to consider with chastity play.

The Harvard School of Public Health found that ejaculating 20 or more times monthly could decrease the risk of prostate cancer by 20% compared with ejaculating 4 to 7 times a month. And this is the case for men in their 20s to 40s.

The exact reason for this link is not clear. However, it may be because ejaculation helps to flush out potential carcinogens from the prostate gland.

Reduced fertility

Fertility does not only concern women; it is important for men too. A man’s risk of fertility is reduced if he does not have regular sexual activity and ejaculations. This is because the sperm cells need to be regularly flushed out of the system. This only happens through ejaculation.

When there is a build-up of sperm cells, they become less effective and are more likely to have genetic abnormalities. This can lead to infertility or difficulty conceiving. Therefore, it is important for men to maintain a healthy sexual activity level to avoid these risks.

Loss of erectile strength

One of the risks associated with male chastity is the potential loss of erectile strength. When a man is aroused, blood flows into his penis, causing it to become erect. If a man abstains from sexual activity for an extended period, this flow of blood can decrease. That can lead to a potential loss of erectile strength.

While this risk may be small for some men, it is important to consider it before embarking on a chastity lifestyle. With proper care, however, this risk can be minimised. Regular exercise, a healthy diet, and adequate hydration will all help to keep the penis healthy and optimise erectile function.

When doing chastity, we recommend releasing the submissive partner from time to time to keep his erectile strength and allow him to ejaculate.

Painful testicles

As any man knows, the desire for a release can sometimes be overwhelming. Unfortunately, this desire can sometimes lead to unwanted consequences, such as epididymal hypertension. This condition is caused by repeated arousal without ejaculation. It can result in pain and discomfort in the testicles.

This is especially the case when introducing edging to your intimacy. However, this is nothing to worry about; the pain will go away as soon as you finally reach orgasm.


close-up of a gold padlock hanging from a man's belt chastity concept

What chastity devices can you use?

When it comes to chastity play, you can use a few different types of devices, depending on your level of experience. Just like with sex toys.

For beginners, a simple cock cage may be all you need to get started. These cages are typically made of metal or silicone and fit snugly around the base of the penis, preventing erections and ejaculation.

You might consider a chastity belt for something a little more advanced. These belts encircle the waist and usually extend down to cover the genitals. They provide a more secure way to prevent sexual activity.

Finally, for those who are truly serious about chastity play, there are male chastity shorts available on the market. These sometimes require the dominant partner to release the sub more often than cages.

Whatever device you choose, make sure you discuss it with your partner beforehand to ensure that both of you are comfortable with the level of restriction involved.


Chastity play is the ultimate expression of trust, submission, and erotic power dynamics. And that’s what makes it so hot. It can be a lot of fun denying your partner orgasmic pleasure and watching them get more and more frustrated as the days go on. So what are you waiting for? Lock up your partner, and let the fun begin.

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