What to do when a client won’t back off

Dealing with difficult or clingy clients is sadly part of being an escort. Nearly all professional sex workers will face a client who’s being too pushy at least once in their career, and even if you haven’t, it’s best to be prepared in case you encounter one.

A clingy client can make you feel uneasy or even scared. But don’t worry. We’ve gathered some of the best tips and tricks from real escorts to help you cross the issue without fuss.

Scroll down to learn more.

When a client won’t leave you alone

From sending constant texts to trying to book up all your time, sometimes client interactions aren’t picture-perfect. Knowing how to deal with a clingy client is essential, as it’s a common issue most escorts face. But when it’s your first time dealing with it, it’s pretty unpleasant and overwhelming.

While clients might think they’re being complimentary, often it’s downright rude and sometimes scary. So, here’s a quick list of actions you can take when a client is being a bit too much:

  • Only reply to work messages during set work hours – Replying to texts at all hours of the day allows clients to message you whenever they want. If you don’t reply on certain days or at certain times, they’ll get the message and back off
  • Keep all communication professional – Of course, it’s great to flirt. But keeping communication professional also sends your clients a “business-only” message
  • Remain calm and collected – A barrage of messages from a client is enough to make anyone anxious but remember to keep your cool. This will ensure you feel less stressed, and it’ll reduce the risk of you sending an aggressive reply
  • Ignore the messages – You have no obligation to reply to every client message. If someone is creeping you out, sometimes the best course of action is to ignore them. After all, do you really want to meet them if they won’t back off?
  • Report them and tell your network – If the pushy client is taking it too far, report them and tell any other local sex workers to help them avoid the client

How do you deal with clients saying I love you?

Hearing “I love you” is usually something we look forward to. But not when it’s from someone at work. Clients getting too attached and saying they’re in love isn’t a new problem. This is an age-old issue sex workers and escorts have always had to navigate. However, that doesn’t mean it’s an easy issue.

If your client has professed their love for you, you can respond in a few ways. Some sex workers like to respond positively, such as “I love that you’re enjoying me so much”, or you could give a polite “thank you”. Some may even ignore the I love you and hope the client gets the message.

However, if the situation makes you uncomfortable or they demand that you say it back, it’s best to address the problem head-on. For example, you could message them after the session and say, “On reflection, saying ‘I love you’ has made me feel uncomfortable. Please may you refrain from speaking like this in the future”. This might seem a little full-on, but it’s best to call out any red-flag behaviour in case it leads to further problems in the future.

Alternatively, if it makes you extra uncomfortable, you always have the power to stop seeing the client. There’s no shame in doing so. Remember, your career is also about your enjoyment and comfort.

How to distance yourself from a client

Distancing yourself from a client sounds easier than it is sometimes, especially if you’ve been working with the client for a while. However, sometimes, clients change their behaviour with no warnings, and when they don’t back off, the best action is to cut them off.

For some clients, they will get the message after you start ignoring them. Stop replying to messages, and don’t take any more bookings. Out of sight and out of mind.

For others, you’ll need to let them know you’re unavailable. But openly stating “you’re too clingy” isn’t always the best route. Instead, you might want to let them down gently by saying you’re taking some time off or can’t take any extra bookings. This way, they won’t get their feelings hurt and are less likely to get angry.

Strategies to keep yourself safe

Keeping yourself safe should always be at the centre of your work. Here are some top tips you can implement to protect yourself against clingy clients:

  • Keep a folder of client details – Having a folder of messages, physical descriptions, phone numbers, and screening information is essential. Update this every time you receive new information
  • Stay in touch with trusted friends, family, or other sex workers – Telling someone when and where you’re working ensures that someone always knows where to find you if you need assistance
  • Set boundaries with clients from the beginning – Before you start a session with a client, remind them that this is a job and there aren’t any emotions involved. This will ensure the relationship starts on a professional level
  • Read tips from other sex workers – Other professionals provide the best escort safety tips. So, make sure you’re interacting with other sex workers online to know how to stay safe
  • Trust your gut – Sometimes, something might feel off, and you don’t know why. Don’t push past this feeling. Trusting your intuition is essential, especially when it comes to keeping yourself safe. Plus, working with clients who don’t leave you with goosebumps after every message is always better

The takeaway

Hopefully, there won’t be any clingy clients in your future. However, preparation is the best defence. And remember, clients must respect your boundaries. If they don’t, it’s time to say goodbye. Bookmark this page or send it to your network to spread the word.

Find more sex worker advice here.

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