couple in bed

Mutual masturbation: Your guide to this underrated sex act

Almost everybody masturbates – it’s a natural part of our lives. And if it’s so enjoyable touching yourself alone, there must be tons of benefits to doing it together, right?

This is called mutual masturbation, and it’s a great way to get intimate with your partner and explore each other’s desires. If you’ve never heard about this, it may sound a bit unusual, but it’s something many people do and have a lot of fun doing.

Mutual masturbation is arguably one of the most underrated sex acts there is. It’s a low-risk activity since there’s no risk of transmitting STIs or getting pregnant, it is one of the surest ways to reach orgasms, and it allows you to get to know your partner in a brand new, sexy way.

In this article, we’ll look into mutual masturbation, why it’s so hot, and how you can safely and comfortably explore it with your partner.

And if you’re unsure if masturbation is even for you, we have a great article you can read on it right here before diving into this article.

Read on to learn more.

What is mutual masturbation?

Mutual masturbation takes on many forms. It could be one of you watching the other masturbate, masturbating simultaneously, or using hands and toys to pleasure each other simultaneously. One of the best parts about mutual masturbation is that you can do it any way you and your partner want or feel comfortable with.

You can do this with two or more people, and it is a great way to ensure everyone has an enjoyable time. It can include penetration and toys, while it can sometimes just be rubbing your partner’s clitoris while receiving a handjob.

And while orgasms are sometimes involved, it doesn’t have to be the end goal. Mutual masturbation can also be a form of foreplay between you and your partner and could be an excellent way for both of you to get in the mood.

Why do it?

Masturbation is usually a very private thing that people keep to themselves. So, bringing your partner into action may not always seem the best idea. But tons of people enjoy mutual masturbation for a reason.

Mutual masturbation can be very hot and a sensory experience you’ve never had before. Here are a couple of reasons why many couples bring mutual masturbation into the bedroom.

A new kind of intimacy

Sex doesn’t have to involve penetration. In fact, non-penetrative sex can be very enjoyable, and mutual masturbation is one of the ways to explore that. Remember, masturbation is a private thing you don’t usually share with other people, so it could be a very intimate experience for you and your partner.

Seeing what your partner does to pleasure themselves while they get to watch, feel, and hear you can be a lot of fun. Or, if you choose to pleasure each other with your hands, this is a very intimate activity and a great way to familiarise each other with your desires and your bodies.

Mutual masturbation is about connecting with your partner in a different way. You can do this until you both reach orgasm, or you can do it to get into the mood for intimate sex.

Pain-free orgasms

While penetrative sex can be a lot of fun, it isn’t the best experience for most people. Many people find penetrative sex painful, even if some still find it pleasurable. But as we just mentioned, sex doesn’t have to be penetrative.

With mutual masturbation, everyone involved experiences pleasure and a connection without needing penetration. This is great if someone is more comfortable with clitoral stimulation with hands or toys.

No risk of STIs

Another benefit of mutual masturbation as it virtually eliminates the risk of STIs. Mutual and group masturbation is a very low-risk sexual practice that still offers many opportunities to explore each other and get intimate.

A lot of the time, the partners won’t even touch each other that much during mutual masturbation, which means there’s no contact that can cause STI transmission. And even with assisted masturbation, the risk of transmission is much lower than penetrative sex.

Pleasure is guaranteed

Not everyone can orgasm from penetrative sex. A lot of the time, only one person will orgasm during penetrative sex. And while some people aren’t comfortable having an orgasm when their partner is performing sexual acts on them, they can instead masturbate together to ensure that everyone gets the pleasure they deserve.

After all, most people experience the best orgasms when they do it themselves. So, not only will you be able to get an incredible orgasm that caters to your needs, you get to watch your partner do it as well.

woman in bed with sex toys

How to explore mutual masturbation with your partner

Since mutual masturbation isn’t the most common sex act, it can be hard to figure out how you and your partner can explore it. Even if both of you are interested, it might seem awkward or uncomfortable to bring it up, let alone do it for the first time.

So, here’s a quick guide to how you can safely and comfortably explore mutual masturbation with your partner.

Talk to them about it

The first step in exploring a new sex act with your partner is having a conversation about it. You’ll never know if your partner is interested or comfortable trying something out without asking them first. So, if you’re interested in trying out mutual masturbation, it’s important to let your partner know.

It’s best to bring it up in casual conversation. It’s best that none of the parties feel pressured into the conversation. So, keep it open and friendly. And make sure that both of you are honest when discussing what you’re interested in and what you aren’t into.

Once you have that conversation, you can start trying it out yourself.

Set the mood

When trying mutual masturbation for the first time, it’s important to set the mood. You want to take your time when doing this because it can feel uncomfortable and awkward for the first time.

So, try figuring out what you and your partner can do to get in the mood. This could be the lighting, your positions, what you’re wearing, or even watching porn. Yes, you can try watching porn together if you want to spice things up when you’re masturbating together.

Don’t take it too seriously

When setting the mood and masturbating together, it’s important that you don’t try to make it a serious experience. There’s nothing wrong with keeping a light and relaxed mood to break the tension. And if you find yourself laughing, don’t be ashamed and tell your partner the same thing, as this can be a really new experience, so there’s no harm if you laugh or chuckle a bit.

Try out different positions

There’s no “one way” to try out mutual masturbation. We’ve mentioned earlier that every couple or group may have their own way of doing it. So, don’t be afraid to experiment with different positions to find what works best for you.

For example, some people enjoy facing each other to make eye contact. Other couples, on the other hand, would rather be able to watch what the other’s hands are doing the whole time for a different type of experience.

Another way you could feel it out before trying it yourselves is by doing it in the same room but not looking at each other. Even being in each other’s presence can make for an enjoyable experience, and it could be the way for you to get comfortable with mutual masturbation when trying it out the first time.

Try bringing in toys

Another thing you can do to up the ante is to bring in toys. We only recommend this if you and your partner use toys regularly or enjoy using toys. If either isn’t comfortable using sex toys, rest assured that you won’t have to do it.

Having a nice set of sex toys to play around with in the bedroom can be a lot of fun. Not only that, but you can also use them while having penetrative sex and not just when masturbating together.

couple in bed exploring sex toys for mutual masturbation

Tips for exploring mutual masturbation

Even if you follow the guide above, figuring it out with your partner can still be difficult. So, here are a couple more tips you can keep in mind when trying out mutual masturbation with your partner:

  • Try out the 69 position
  • Bring in whatever toys you’re comfortable with
  • Make eye contact
  • Touch each other and explore their bodies
  • Try saddling
  • Experiment with phone sex first
  • Practice open communication the entire time

The takeaway

There are tons of ways you and your partner can spice up the bedroom. And if penetrative sex hasn’t worked for you or you want to try something new, you may want to check out mutual masturbation.

This is a great way to get intimate with your partner, see how they pleasure themselves and connect without the need for penetration.

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