What to know before hooking up with someone older

If your eyes are drawn to the more mature dating app users, don’t worry. You’re not alone. Up to 8% of Western male-female couples have an age gap of 10 years or more, and this statistic is on the rise.

But if you’re ready to act on your age-gap fantasies, ensure you’re completely prepared for the advantages and disadvantages of dating someone older.

In this guide, you’ll find everything you need to know before you date (or hook up with) an older beau.

Let’s get into it.

Why should you date older people?

Dating someone older is a hot topic right now. Some people are for it, and others are vehemently against it. But as long as the two people consent, that’s all that matters.

Hooking up with someone older has a whole host of benefits. Mature folk make more experienced sexual partners; they usually know what they want and can provide certain security that most young bucks can’t.

It’s not for everyone, but if you’ve found that you’re drawn to older men and quite fancy grey hair, it could be worth pursuing.

Is it normal to be attracted to older people?

In a world where most people date within the same age group, finding older people attractive might make you feel insecure. However, it’s totally normal to fancy older men (or women). You can explore to your heart’s content as long as your desires are consensual and legal.

In fact, being attracted to older people is very normal. Younger people tend to be intrigued by the maturity and experience of their older counterparts. So, if you’ve noticed your eye wandering to someone slightly older, don’t feel embarrassed! If you can, embrace it and have some fun.

Hooking up with an older person vs sugar daddies

When it comes to age-gap dating, sugar daddies and Seeking Arrangements are two concepts that come to mind. But unless you’re looking for material gifts or payment for your affections, your older partner isn’t a sugar daddy. The key difference between hooking up with an older person vs. a sugar-type relationship is the transferral of monetary or material support.

There’s nothing wrong with either relationship. However, you must clear your expectations and boundaries before you go on any dates or engage in sexual contact. Boundaries and consent are always the way forward.

What to consider before hooking up with someone older

Before you take the dive and start seeing older men or women, take five minutes and think about the points below. These will help you decide if the mature dating pool is for you (or not).


Depending on the age gap you’re searching for, if you’re younger, you’ll likely be the immature one in the relationship. We know. No one likes to hear that. But if you’re dating older people, you have to accept that (for the most part) they’ve got more life experience and are likely more emotionally mature than you.

Sexual experience

Someone older than you will also likely have more sexual experience, which is usually beneficial. They’ll know what they like in the bedroom and how to please their partner. Seemingly, it is the perfect formula.

However, it’s crucial to note that you tend to experiment less as you learn what you like in bed. If you’re keen on trying new things, dating older might not be the best route.

You also could end up with mismatched sex drives. No couple has the same sex drive, but if you’re dating someone a lot older, the difference in libido will be more obvious. Of course, this depends on the age you’re dating, and it can differ from person to person.

Time commitments

Dating someone older means they’ll be at a different stage in their life. For example, dating a much older man might mean he has lots of free time as he slowly reduces his work commitments. You might not want this if you’re just starting your career.

Look inward and consider how much time you can realistically devote to a relationship right now. You might be ready for a connection or just looking for a hook-up – and remember, there’s nothing wrong with either!

You might not be the only person in their life

If you’re interested in hooking up with someone older than you, it’s crucial to face the music and understand that you likely won’t be the only person in their life. Since your potential partner has more years of experience, it’s not out of the question that they’ll have an ex-partner or even children.

Even if you’re only hooking up with them, will you be comfortable with this? For most people, it’s completely fine. But working through this potential scenario before you get on the dating apps is vital.

Ask yourself why you’re searching for someone older

You should also consider your motivations when searching for an older partner. Age-gap relationships can help you learn, grow, and hook up with hot silver foxes. But you need to understand your desires and needs to connect with someone else. This way, you’re less likely to end up with a mismatched date.

Long-term goals and plans

How do you see your life in 10 years? If you want children or to travel, dating older can be more challenging, as many eligible bachelors have already ticked these boxes. This won’t matter so much if you’re only hooking up with older partners. However, it’s worth considering this point before you get too emotionally attached to someone with a different life trajectory.

Be open and honest

Finally, regardless of your preferences or needs, ensure you’re honest with your partners. The more transparent you are about your desires, the more likely they’ll be met. So, don’t be shy if you’re only interested in getting down and dirty. And if you’re looking for a partner, don’t be embarrassed to admit it.

Remember, the person you’ll date also has feelings and needs. Being honest with them also means they’re less likely to be hurt.

The takeaway

Whether you’re looking for a night of passion or someone to grow old(er) with, we hope this article has prepared you for the silver fox dating scene. Again, boundaries and consent should always come first. When in doubt, trust your gut and, most of all – enjoy!

Learn more about sex and relationships on the Vivastreet blog.

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