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Exploring the unknown: How to understand your client’s desires

The sex work industry is changing. As society becomes more comfortable with discussing kinks and fetishes, clients are now trying to explore their new kinks and desires with sex workers.

That said, this provides a pretty unique and tricky situation for sex workers. As escorts, it’s important for clients to feel comfortable talking about and exploring these desires without judgement. However, it’s also important for escorts to establish boundaries and clear lines about what they will or will not do.

So, how do escorts safely explore taboos and client kinks without making the clients uncomfortable?

Establishing the right balance between acceptance and boundaries as an escort is tough. But in this guide, we’re answering some of these important questions to make it easier for you to explore your client’s fetishes safely. You’ll be understanding your client’s desires and needs in no time.

Read on to learn more.

Our attitude towards kinks and fetishes is changing, so how does it impact the client-escort dynamic?

Society’s attitude towards kinks, fetishes, and sex, in general, has shifted in recent years. Nowadays, we are more empowered and comfortable talking about our unique sexual desires and fetishes. This allows people to feel more sexually empowered and satisfied. However, this has had a unique impact on the client-escort dynamic.

Since there’s less of a stigma around certain fetishes and kinks, it’s common for clients to try exploring some of these sexual desires with escorts. Now, if you’re a sex worker, toeing the line and finding the right balance between allowing your clients to explore their desires while still respecting your boundaries.

This is why it’s common for escorts to receive requests that are considered taboo. While respecting your client’s desires is important, remember that you don’t have to satisfy all their requests. And to create a safe environment for both of you, it’s important to discuss this early on.

Creating a safe and non-judgmental environment for clients to explore their fetishes

Establishing a modern client-escort dynamic is no easy task. Nowadays, sex workers must ensure that they create a safe space for clients to discuss and explore their fetishes. When someone feels judged for their desires and fetishes, it completely ruins the client-escort dynamic.

Sustaining a good relationship with clients keeps them coming back for more. And if you have loyal customers as a sex worker, you can attract a lot of success in the industry. That said, actually creating a comfortable atmosphere for exploring sexual desires is tough.

But the most important thing to remember is to always listen to what your clients have to say. Make sure that you don’t laugh or treat their fetishes lightly. Instead, make sure that they know you are hearing them and that you are understanding your client’s desires and needs.

Now, you don’t have to accept all their requests and explore every kink with your client. But if they see that you are listening to them and not judging them whatsoever, they will feel much more comfortable with you, which does wonders for the entire dynamic.

So, when entering the industry, make sure to prioritise creating a non-judgmental environment, so clients feel comfortable exploring fetishes and desires.

couple having sex, man taking off the bra of a girl in his lap

Common client fetishes and how to approach them

A great way to be prepared for client fetishes and kinks is to learn about some of the most common ones. So, here’s a quick rundown of some common client fetishes that they may want to explore with you and how to approach them.


One of the most common kinks that clients want to explore is BDSM. The thing about this fetish is that there are many ways to explore it. For example, some clients may want to play the dominant role in this dynamic, while others would prefer being submissive.

On top of that, there are different ways to explore BDSM. Some clients might want to try roleplaying, while others would like to incorporate toys and tools to enhance the experience. Again, the best way to approach these situations is with an open and honest conversation.

Make sure the client understands that you’re listening to them and are open to their desires. However, it’s also important to lay down the rules early and explain what you’re willing to explore and what things are off-limits.


Some clients may want to explore a latex fetish with you. This involves either wearing, touching, or playing with latex during sexual scenarios. Again, there are many ways to do this. However, you are going to need specific gear and tools to explore a latex fetish.

This is something to consider before saying yes or no to a client’s request. So, make sure that you fully understand what the client wants before agreeing to a latex-fetish scenario.

Golden showers

Many clients want to try golden showers. This involves you urinating on the client or them urinating on you. Before exploring this fetish, it’s important to understand the risks, especially when since this involves coming into contact with bodily fluids. Just like any kink, exploring this safely requires a lot of trust and an open conversation.


This is the fancy term for a foot fetish. Many clients have a foot fetish and may want to explore it with you. This could be through foot worship, footjobs, or wearing specific footwear. This is a very common fetish with clients and it isn’t uncommon for them to ask to explore this with escorts.

Establishing boundaries while helping clients explore their fetishes

Your first priority when exploring your client’s sexual fetishes is to establish boundaries. There are always going to be things that you will and won’t do. And before allowing clients to explore their desires, you need the client to understand these boundaries.

If you were open with your client when they were discussing their fetish, they should be open with you as well when discussing boundaries. Boundaries and respect are crucial in the sex work industry. And if you’re looking to create a great experience for you and the client, it’s important to establish these boundaries right away.

Prioritising safety and consent as a sex worker

There are many risks when entering the sex work industry. And to stay safe, it’s important that you prioritise consent. This is why open and comprehensive conversations with your clients before booking dates and entering scenarios are very important. Here are some more tips to keep in mind when establishing the rules and boundaries with your client:

  • Screen your clients before saying yes to an appointment
  • Start the date by laying out the rules and boundaries
  • Immediately cancel bookings if you feel like a client won’t respect boundaries
  • Only say yes to requests you’re comfortably satisfying
  • Take the lead in the conversation to establish your rules right away

blonde shy woman in bra holded by lesbian lover on chain. bdsm concept

How understanding your client’s desires leads to a more fulfilling experience

When entering any scenario as a sex worker, it’s important that the client leaves fulfilled and satisfied. Satisfied clients are more likely to come back for another data, giving you a constant stream of income.

Fully understanding your client’s desires and needs requires an open conversation. Many clients will be hesitant to talk about their fetishes. However, if you establish a non-judgemental environment, they will feel much more comfortable exploring their sexuality with you.

That way, both parties have a fulfilling experience, which could lead to more opportunities in the future.

The takeaway

If you’re an escort, there’s a high chance certain clients will come to you with specific requests that they want you to satisfy. While you don’t need to accept these requests and explore all kinks, it’s important to remain open and non-judgemental. This allows the client to feel more comfortable with you, making it easier to establish a healthy client-escort relationship. 

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