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Virtual sex: The ultimate guide to interactive fun

A pleasurable alternative to physical intercourse, virtual sex is defined as any kind of sexual activity done with or on the internet.

Virtual sex has taken sexual communication to a whole new level. Over the last few decades, as technology has continued to grow, for some, virtual sex has become as natural as conventional physical intimacy.

According to Kinsey Institute’s International Sex Survey, conducted in 198 countries on sexual habits, more than 60% of people have had sex over the internet – whether by text, audio and/or video.

For couples who live apart, have a long-distance relationship, or unable to meet in person, virtual sex can strengthen your intimate bond and keep the sexual side of your relationship going.

If virtual sex is new to you, it can seem a little awkward, as it is pretty much a new sexual skill in itself. But the most important thing is to be committed to the moment and enjoy it with your partner.

Below are some tips on how to have virtual sex that is satisfying, and more importantly feels comfortable for you and your partner.


World map of two countries with red felt hearts on wooden background

What is virtual sex?

Virtual sex is when two or more people sexually stimulate one another on the internet, phone or other electronic commmunication equipment.

Unlike physical sex, it doesn’t involve physical contact between partners, which can make it difficult for some people to think of it as “real sex”.

However, virtual sex is a genuine way for partners to be intimate with each other and sexually adventurous. 

The most common types of virtual sex include:

  • Sexting – Sending sexual texts or explicit photos and video clips to someone over text message or social media platforms like Whatsapp.
  • Phone sex – Talking through sexual acts and erotic fantasies over the phone while masturbating 
  • Video chat – Masturbating or performing sexual acts like striptease or roleplay on video chat to fulfill sexual urges

These types of virtual sex are great to help get your partner sexually aroused.


Woman holding smartphone for virtual sex

How to do virtual sex

First and foremost, keep in mind that trusting your partner is essential for there to be any real involvement and pleasure in virtual sex.

Unlike intercourse, you have no control over who sees what you send or do on video with your partner.

While it’s acceptable to limit how you expose yourself online if you choose to, trust is the foundation you both need to make this new sexual encounter relaxing, enjoyable and fulfilling. 

Communicate and set boundaries

Before engaging in virtual sex, it is important that you and your partner have an open conversation regarding consent and boundaries. 

There may be some sexual fantasies and activities you are keen to explore that your partner may feel uncomfortable doing on camera. 

For example, masturbation and getting nude may be acceptable, but will your partner approve of you recording them or taking screenshots? 

It’s good to know where you both stand with each other when performing virtual sex to avoid offence, violating privacy, and having a bad experience overall.

Establishing trust and setting boundaries beforehand can make it easier for you both to communicate to each other and feel more free to enjoy the experience. 

After having cybersex, discuss the parts you enjoyed and disliked the most so you can understand each other’s needs and plan a more pleasurable experience for next time. 

Having conversations about your sex life while apart can help overcome sexual frustration and keep you and your virtual partner stay sexually connected. 

Pick the right time and place 

Finding a private and quiet place for virtual sex can be a little tricky, especially if you live with others or are always around people. 

If you’re not the spontaneous type that likes to get down and dirty anywhere, anytime, planning ahead helps you and your partner have a virtual sex session that meets both your expectations. 

Think about what time is best to give each other your undivided attention where there will be no interruptions during virtual sex. 

Maybe it’s more convenient to arrange a time when you’re both settled down from work, when the kids are in bed, or a quiet period in the morning.

Remember one of the benefits of virtual sex is it can be done from anywhere, which can influence what you are able to get up to in your online sex session.


Man in car with pants at ankles

Choose the right technology

Virtual interactions are more high quality than ever, thanks to technology. For virtual sex this is no different. 

Some sexual activities are dependent on the type of technology you use such as a smartphone, tablet, laptop, or desktop. 

If you plan on masturbating or stripteasing for your partner, it can be awkward to hold a smartphone while on a video call whereas using a laptop or webcam might provide a more stable video for your partner, a bigger screen for them to see what you’re doing, and most importantly, a great performance. 

If you’re using a phone, make sure it’s propped up on something sturdy like a book on your nightstand. 

Even selfie sticks and mirrors can help get better and sexier angles. Apps and cameras with self-timers and hands-free modes can also give you more scope for poses or sexual activities you can do.

 Make sure during the session they can hear you and whatever you want your partner to see is in full view to get the best out of the experience.

Share your sexual desires 

Remember, just like conventional sex, the important thing about virtual sex is that each moment is by mutual agreement and is pleasurable for all participating. 

If you want to fulfill you and your partner’s sexual desires, you need to communicate your wants and needs and encourage your partner to open up about what turns them on too. 

Don’t be shy, as virtual sex is likely to be foreign to your partner too, so remember that you’re both figuring this out together. 

Perhaps ask them questions like: What words turn you on? What do you want to see on camera? What type of sexual activity do you want to do? What are your erotic fantasises? 

This shows that you’re aiming to please and open to changing things up. Being open about your sexual desires means that you and your partner can have a satisfying sex life in the virtual space, as you’ll know what each other want. 

When masturbating, on many occasions, one partner reaches orgasm first than the other. If you get there first, do not ignore the other person on the other end of the line, encourage them more and continue to give him/her pleasure.


Man watching partner undress on laptop

Be sexy with your body

As the old adage goes, “a picture is worth a thousand words” and what your partner can see on video during online sex is just as powerful. 

Sexy movements and close-ups that focus on specific details of your body, including all erogenous zones such as your genitals, are ways to turn your partner on and let them know how you’re feeling. 

Look directly at the camera, as if you are looking at him/her, and be flirtatious and inviting with your gestures and facial expressions so your partner can feel as if you really are in the same room. 

Spice it up a little and maybe put on some sensual clothing, like lingerie or underwear, as this can help heighten sexual senses.

Talk dirty 

Arousal isn’t only about touch and virtual sex is not just about showing the naked body in an image or video. 

The use of provocative and seductive words, whispers, moans, and screams plays a fundamental role in making virtual sex hotter. 

A study by Big Think discovered that 90% of people felt aroused by the right erotic talk with their partner, activating the erogenous parts of the brain. Don’t be afraid to talk about what’s on your mind. 

Describe your sexual fantasies and everything you would like to do with them such as kiss, caress, squeeze, touch – whatever it is that comes to your erotic mind. If you think too much about what to say when talking dirty, it might be difficult, so make sure it’s inspired by the spur-of-the-moment. 

44% of participants said moaning turned them on the most, as it produces a physical representation of pleasure and shows your partner that the interaction is enjoyable. 

Start slow and build up to the racier stuff to get your partner more hot under the collar. For more tips on dirty talk, click here.

Add pleasure props to the mix

When it comes to virtual sex, sex toys are good shout to spice up the experience. 

Not only does it provide and enhance the sexual sensation during mutual masturbation but it’s a fun way to feed your sexual fantasies. 

You and your partner should invest in some thrilling sex toys to use while you masturbate to help you reach climax and add a touch of realism to your virtual sex. 

Make the session sexier by having your partner instruct you on how to use your pleasure product and how they’d like you to play with it.

Set a romantic mood

Setting the mood is just as important for in-person sex as it it for sex online. 

This gives you some time to get more aroused and comes naturally than just jumping straight into virtual sex, as this may feel a little awkward. 

Why not dim the lights or set some candles? Would your partner appreciate some of the material you wear or the sheets on your bed such as lace or silk? What’s their favourite colour or what ones do they think complement you most? 

You can also do sexy activities to set the mood too. Why not watch an erotic movie together or put on some background sex music to create a romantic vibe before getting frisky.

Best virtual sex positions

Believe it or not, virtual sex can be as pleasurable as you desire, but only if you involve the perfect positions and locations that make you both feel comfortable, fuel your sexual fantasies, and make your bodies tick.

Here are some of the sexiest poses, or shall we say virtual sex positions, for you and your partner to try when having virtual sex:

Lying on your back 

When lying on a bed or sofa on your back, you will show your whole body, giving the other person the opportunity to see legs, genitals, abdomen and chest – a complete picture.


More performed by women, this position will give a unique view of the back and buttocks, as well as having the anus and vulva on show. 


Seductive woman in virtual sex position

Sitting with your legs open 

In this case, you will focus on the lower regions of the body, placing more emphasis on the genitals while showing your excitement and pleasure with hands and caresses.


This is a variation of the position of four, exposing the buttocks, vulva or testicles and penis. However, it can be a more uncomfortable position for beginners.

On the side of the sofa

Leaning on your side and with your arms loose, here you can provide a vision for your partner while masturbating or caressing your own body.

Tips for not feeling awkward in virtual sex

It is quite natural to feel uncomfortable when having sex on video. So an important tip is to rehearse. Don’t be afraid to create some dirty-talk phrases or test some poses that are most comfortable for you.

We usually have angles that favour us. Look for those that please you the most. Also, practising what your partner likes will make you feel more confident when performing virtual sex too. The goal here is to make you as relaxed as possible so that you can really enjoy every minute.

Important: If you do it online with someone you don’t know yet, consider how much intimacy you are willing to offer. If the person asks to show you more than you want, feel free to decline. Do not submit to any situation of embarrassment or discomfort – and that goes for virtual sex among acquaintances as well.

Seek real pleasure with virtual sex

Whatever your choice of moment, space, clothing or sex position, the pleasures of virtual sex can only be experienced when you and your virtual partner are fully involved and committed to the situation.

So, to make the most of this sexual option while you’re physically apart, allow yourself to give pleasure without worrying about shame or being embarrassed. 

When you’ve built trust and set boundaries, discovered what you and your partner like to do and feel comfortable with during virtual sex, and established a routine that works for you both, virtual sex can give you a satisfying sex life from a distance. 

Don’t let distance get in the way of you having pleasure or greater intimacy with your partner. 

If you’re single and feel that virtual sex is convenient for you, you don’t have to miss out on the fun either. Just schedule some hot virtual entertainment with a companion at Vivastreet.



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