man and woman hands having sex on a bed. make love and grabbing each other's hands

Quirofilia: Taking fetish into your own hands

Hands – we all have them, but some people are more attracted to hands than others. If you’ve discovered you have a hand kink, you’re not alone. Quirofilia, also known as a hand fetish, is more common than you might expect.

Discovering a new fetish is exciting, but it can also be challenging. Now you’ve realised you have an attraction to hands, what’s the next step? Can you try hand play? What is quirofilia? But don’t worry, we’re here to help.

In this article, we’re exploring everything you need to know about hand fetishes. Keep reading to get informed on this exciting subject, from what causes them to how you can involve them in your sex life. 

What is a hand fetish?

So, you’ve discovered you’re attracted to hands, but what is a hand fetish?

Quirofilia describes a distinct sexual attraction to hands, nails, and fingers. Unlike the well-known foot fetish, hand fetishes aren’t always about sexual acts. Someone with a hand kink might be attracted to looking at hands, touching certain textures, or even doing mundane actions like watching hands tie shoelaces.

Hand fetishes can also include sexual acts that involve fingers, such as fingering, finger sucking, or hand jobs. Each person is different, but if the sexual attraction surrounds the hands more than the act, it’s known as a hand fetish.

Some even find their hand fetish isn’t very sexual at all. For some, simply watching the hands of a loved one while they perform caring tasks brings a feeling of peace and comfort. This is a broad fetish, and no one definition fits all. 


woman's hand touching a man's stomach ready to unzip his jeans

Do I have a hand fetish?

If you’ve noticed yourself paying more attention to hands than others, it might signal you have a hand fetish. 

Remember, fetishes and kinks are entirely normal. Sexual attraction is a broad spectrum, and fetishes come in all shapes and sizes. If you’ve realised that you find hands attractive, this is exciting. Now you can start introducing more hand play in the bedroom, which is ideal if you want to spice up your sex life

Understanding your hand fetish might be challenging, as not all people with a hand kink want to interact with their hands directly. Some are happy just to watch hands, whereas others prefer sexual acts that revolve around hands. The best way to see what works best for you is to try different acts out. From fingering to caressing, see which aspects of hand play you enjoy. 

Fetishes don’t always have precise definitions, but this is a good thing. When you’re comfortable and with a consenting adult, experiment with different textures and touches to see what quirofilia means to you.

What causes a hand fetish?

It’s common to wonder what causes a kink, especially if you’ve just noticed you have it. Like food, we all have different tastes in the bedroom. A fetish is caused by sexual attraction, and some might have stronger feelings than others surrounding a particular fetish. 

While many kinks develop over time, some are almost biological. We’re all wired to experience sexual attraction, so what you’re attracted to depends on your personality and life experiences. 

There’s no concrete research into what causes hand fetishes, and research into all sexual fetishes is still limited. However, experimenting with hand play can be very fulfilling and safe, so as long as you’re with a trusted partner, don’t worry about the cause. Just explore and enjoy.

What features make hands sexy?

If your partner has a hand fetish, you might be wondering what you can do to elevate their enjoyment. The first step is to understand what makes hands sexy and start using this to experiment in the bedroom.

The features that make hands sexy are extensive, but the most common include veins, long fingernails, and size. Some women are attracted to large, strong hands – especially if they have prominent veins. On the other hand, men tend to be attracted to hands with long or polished nails.

In general, those with quirofilia enjoy looking at hands in different positions. So, sometimes it’s less about the features and more about what the hands are doing. From caressing genitalia to performing daily tasks, the features and positions that make hands sexy vary a lot. 

Does my partner have a hand fetish?

One of the aspects of having a partner is getting to know their preferences are fetishes. If you suspect your partner has a hand fetish, they might pay extra attention to your hands during intercourse. This could include sucking, licking, or watching your hands.

Another sign your partner might experience quirofilia is if they become more aroused when engaging in hand play. Seeing your partner orgasm the hardest when you’re fingering them or when your hands are in their mouth could indicate that hands are a sure turn-on for them.

Knowing your partner’s kinks is great, as you can use these to make your sex life even hotter. If you’re ready to include more hand play, sit down and talk to your partner to gauge their reaction. They might not even realise their attraction to hands, so make sure you communicate well and ensure they always feel comfortable. 

How do I tell my partner I have a hand fetish?

When you’re ready to include quirofilia into your sex life, sit down with your partner and have an open conversation. With any kink or fetish, discussing your desires and boundaries is essential before any sexual contact starts. Open communication leads to sexier and more fulfilling intercourse, so don’t be scared to talk.

Sit down with your partner in a comfortable, private environment and be transparent about your feelings. Explain how hands enhance sex and how you’d like to incorporate them next time you get intimate. Remember, consent is important; if they’re not ready to explore hands yet, give them time before proceeding. 

How to explore hand fetish?

Ready to turn the heat up? Here are some of the best ways to include quirofilia into your sex life.

  • Send each other saucy hand pictures. The first step to enjoying hand play doesn’t have to be physical. You could introduce saucy hand photos into your sexting sessions.
  • Explore hand-focused porn. Quirofilia isn’t as uncommon as you might expect, and there are hundreds of porn actors who specialise in this area. This could also give you tips on how to want to integrate hands into your play.
  • Spend more time on hand-focused foreplay. From fingering to hand jobs, there are multiple ways to reach orgasm with hands. Instead of focusing your sex around penetration, spend more time on these acts instead.
  • Try licking and finger-sucking. If you’re not ready to experiment with sexual hand play, you can try finger-sucking and licking instead. This is a great way to dial up the intimacy too.
  • Experiment with different caresses and sensations. Soft touches and caresses can often create heightened arousal, especially if you’re attracted to hands. 
  • Consider adding fisting into your play. While fisting isn’t for everyone, it can be an excellent way to add hands to your sex life. Remember, make sure you use lube and prepare well for any anal play. Consent is critical too.

Is hand fetish safe?

Due to the taboo nature of fetishes, there’s often a lack of information surrounding them, and many don’t know if it’s safe to engage in any kink or hand play.

However, we have good news for anyone interested in hand fetishes and quirofilia – hand play is entirely safe. As long as you’re gentle with your partner, hand play is harmless fun that can make your sex life even spicier.

If you’re ready to engage in some hand fun with a partner, ensure you’re both recently tested to prevent STDs and include a condom for any potential penetration. Getting tested regularly is the best way to protect yourself from diseases and infections. 

Lube might be needed for any penetrative acts, as the anus and vagina are sensitive areas. Lubes can heighten sensations and offer a tasty treat if you’re playing with sucking or licking – stock up on exciting textures for a new experience. 

Also, remember that both parties need to consent before you start intercourse. But if you’re two adults who have provided enthusiastic consent, you’re good to go.


man kissing woman's hand

Ready to take things into your own hands?

Quirofilia is a completely normal fetish; exploring it is a fun way to increase your pleasure in the bedroom. We hope this article has improved your understanding of the topic. If you’re ready to share your fetish with your partner, use our tips to get things started.

Finally, when starting with fetishes, remember to start slow and pay attention to what you enjoy most. All fetishes can be safely explored, but always ask your adult partner for consent first.

Have you ever experimented with hand play? What does an attraction to hands mean to you? Let us know in the comments!

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