Desire and fantasy come in all shapes and forms. There’s a world of sexual kinks to explore, from kinky role-playing scenarios to bondage.
One kink that many are ashamed to explore is consensual non-consent, also known as CNC. This kink often comes with a side of controversy, however, when you delve into the CNC world, the most crucial aspect of this sexual scenario is trust.
- What is consensual non-consent?
- Why do people enjoy CNC?
- Guide to safety in CNC
- How to explore CNC
- Risks of CNC
- The importance of aftercare
- Always practice CNC with consent
Keep reading if you’re interested in consensual non-consent and want to learn more about this kink in a judgment-free zone. We’re exploring what CNC is, how to explore your desires safely, and how to care for your partner after a scene.
Scroll down to find out more.
What is consensual non-consent?
So, what exactly is consensual non-consent?
CNC refers to an arrangement where consenting partners explore a situation where the dominant partner has full control over the sub. This kink isn’t for everyone. However, for those interested in pushing the boundaries, CNC can be thrilling and pleasurable.
Consensual non-consent is often judged and misunderstood by many outside of the kink scene. While it sounds like a dangerous scenario, those who practice CNC always put consent and boundaries first. Lots of open conversation and planning happens before CNC, ensuring the submissive party is comfortable throughout intercourse.
This kink allows partners to explore their desires and boundaries. Like other role-playing kinks, CNC is all about making fantasies real.
Why do people enjoy CNC?
If you’re new to CNC, you might not understand why would anyone fully give up control in such ways. Yet, there are multiple reasons partners enjoy these scenarios. Here are the top reasons CNC is a popular kink:
- A trust-building exercise. Consensual non-consent is all about trusting your partner. With clear communication and boundaries, the submissive partner learns to trust their partner in new ways. This can create a new layer of intimacy in your relationship
- Power play. Playing out dominant and submissive roles is a turn-on, and this kink takes them to the extreme. For some, completely submitting to their partner makes sex even more pleasurable
- Exploring taboo subjects. As humans, we’re often secretly fascinated with taboo topics. Consensual non-consent offers an outlet for us to enjoy taboo practices in a safe setting
- Primal sex. Taking away boundaries can lead to passionate and more primal sex. If you want to turn the heat up a notch, CNC could awaken a new side of you
Guide to safety in CNC
Safety in consensual non-consent revolves around the conversations before the play starts.
You must have a lengthy discussion with your partner before you start. Key topics to discuss are your safe words, your boundaries, whether you will involve toys and any other details. This conversation must cover all bases to ensure both parties are comfortable.
While rough play might be on the menu for some, you can’t expect your partner to be comfortable with it. Similarly, you need to discuss lubrication. Here at Vivastreet, we’re lube advocates, as they make any play more comfortable. Make sure you and your partner are on the same page before you get started.
Before CNC, you should also discuss contraception. Like any sexual acts, discuss whether you will wear condoms or dental dams. Get clear on protection before any sexual penetration starts.
You might want to experiment with minor scenarios first. Trying out smaller BDSM kinks and learning to trust each other before acting out your ultimate fantasies will make the experience better for both of you.
Don’t opt for “stop” or “no” when choosing a safe word. In CNC, one party often plays the victim’s part and will say these words as part of the act. Choose an obvious word or action (such as tapping) to ensure you can express your real desire to stop.
How to explore CNC
When it’s time to explore CNC, you have many options to explore. Get clear on what type of fantasy you’re acting out. Nailing the details before is essential.
Many couples enjoy adding in common BDSM elements to heighten the fun. Common additions include:
However, CNC situations also open partners up to alternative acts. Many enjoy adding slapping, painful restraints, or any other rough elements to the play if both parties feel comfortable.
Another way to explore CNC is through tearing clothing or panties. Again, discuss this beforehand. Cheap panties are usually a good option for this. If you don’t want your expensive lingerie ruined, express this before the scene.
Other actions to include in CNC are spitting, biting and other similar acts. Discuss whether you’re okay with leaving any marks (such as bites or bruises). For some, marks can make sex even more exciting.
Popular scenes for CNC include pretend fights, police officer blackmailing, and home break invasions. These role-playing options allow you to get creative in the bedroom. Other options include bosses and employees, kidnappers, doctors, and muggings.
At the end of the day, exploring consensual non-consent comes down to what you find exciting. If the thought of anything doesn’t arouse you, tell your partner. This will improve the experience for both parties.
Risks of CNC
Consensual non-consent can lead to rough sexual situations which come with various risks. Mitigating these risks beforehand is the best form of prevention. It might feel uncomfortable, but you should discuss what to do in these moments. Therefore, a safeword during CNC is always recommended.
But CNC risks go further than physical injuries. Intense play can bring up past issues, and there’s also the potential that CNC can affect your relationship. Some find that they can’t look at their partner the same way afterwards.
If a submissive party isn’t comfortable, there’s a chance they may freeze up and forget the safeword, leading to real consent being broken. Practising CNC should only come with true desire, a trusting partner, and lots of deliberation.
CNC can also affect the dominant partner. After acting out a rough scene, they might experience confused feelings and guilt.
The only way to remove these risks is through serious communication. While planning doesn’t sound sexy, it’s the only guaranteed way to keep both partners safe. When you create a plan, stick to it!
The importance of aftercare
If you’ve experimented with BDSM sex before, you’ll know aftercare is a crucial element. Aftercare brings both partners back to equal levels after the powerplay and gives you both a moment to adjust after extreme sex.
Aftercare involves a range of elements, all to make both partners more comfortable. Since CNC can cause pain, dizziness, and stress, aftercare is even more important than usual.
Typical aftercare can include:
- Caring for any injuries
- Talking about the scene
- Self-care routines
- Relaxing in general
Like sex preferences, aftercare is personal to each partner. Include your aftercare wishes in your consent talks and prepare any materials you might need beforehand. Being prepared can ease the transition afterwards.
Always practice CNC with consent
Deciding whether consensual non-consent is for you can be tough. If you’re feeling unsure, it’s best not to dive in. However, if the thought of CNC arouses you, that’s a sign to start experimenting. Like all rough sex situations, ease your way up to full CNC scenes.
Never skip the communication step. Without clear boundaries, safe words, and scene planning, the play can quickly become unsafe. Always include contraception and physical boundaries in your consent communication too.
So, if you’re interested in acting out your deepest desires, make sure you use this guide with your partner. This kink can be extremely fulfilling and a way to connect with your partner on a deeper level. Just remember to put safety first at all times.