Most often adopted as the go-to position for cosy Sunday morning sex, spooning is far more than the no-effort method known and loved by lazy lovers. In this article, we explore just how this low-maintenance mating can be upgraded to produce mind-blowing results for both parties.
What is spooning sex?
In a nutshell, spooning is a sex position in which both partners are lying on their sides, both facing the same direction, while one penetrates the other from behind.
Derived from the way two spoons can fit into one another, spooning means that the ‘big’ spoon (traditionally the man) lies behind, while the ‘little’ spoon (traditionally the woman) curls up in front, mirroring the positioning of the one behind.
How to spoon sex
Lying in the spooning position gives the person behind easy access to their partner, not just for penetration, but also for foreplay, too.
Penetration can be both vaginal and anal, and can be done with the penis and/or a vibrato or dildo, love beads, or other penetrative toys.
At the same time, by reaching around their partner, they can stimulate their partner’s clitoris, breasts, or penis using their hands or other toys.
It’s not just the one behind doing all the work, though. Although space is limited due to the close proximity of their bodies, the one in front can reach back and slide their hand between them to play with their partner’s penis or clitoris so both partners are being stimulated at the same time.
Forget about climaxing, and instead just feel what’s going on. Be aware of your partner’s skin against yours, their scent, and the feel of their breath on your neck.
Listen to the sounds your partner makes, too, as this can be a huge turn-on and a really good clue as to what feels really good to them.
And remember, we’re not all built the same so think about using toys to adjust the depth. While one person will enjoy (and can accommodate) a lot of length, another might find it uncomfortable. Using toys while spooning can help to find this happy medium, while also being a lot of fun.
Why do people love spooning sex?
There are so many reasons to love spooning sex, and you will begin to see it in a different light when you hear about the many benefits it can bring.
For example, it’s great for that time between sleeping and waking as it requires little in the way of physical effort, and yet it is deeply intimate at the same time.
One of the only positions that allows almost full-body contact, it can literally stimulate every inch of the body as skin-to-skin contact is there from head to toe.
Also great for night-time love-making before you go to sleep, spooning won’t wake either of you up too much, either.
A fabulous position to fall asleep in without having to move, spooning also involves built-in cuddling, so it’s the perfect all-in-one method.
Spooning sex is also a great position if ‘little’ spoon is, say, on the voluptuous side, or even pregnant. Accessing the partner from behind means that tummies don’t get in the way in the slightest, allowing for deep penetration with no problems.
Aside from the fact that there is little in the way of physical exertion involved, spooning sex is also unrivalled in its range of intensity. By simply adjusting the angle of the legs, for example, you can control how deep or how shallow penetration is.
Unlike positions such as when a woman is on top, spooning affords more control to both partners. Either one can move their hips freely to allow for speed, rhythm, and depth, and it’s also a great way for one or both to slow things down if it looks like climax is going to be reached too quickly.
Something that many people don’t realise is that spooning sex can also mean that the G-spot can be reached more easily because of the angle. Whether it’s a penis or vibrator, the position will mean that it is more likely to hit the front wall of the vagina, finding the elusive spot.
Are there any benefits to a relationship?
There are loads of benefits to a relationship through spooning sex. While many positions only require a certain part of the body to be in close contact, the closeness that occurs naturally from spooning is said to release the ‘love hormone’ also known as oxytocin.
A natural pain reliever, oxytocin can also help reduce stress levels because it can cancel out the effects of cortisol, which is responsible for stress.
Of course, the prolonged contact is a great aide to intimacy; the physical and emotional bond can be strengthened, both during sex and afterwards.
Tips to make spooning sex even better
While spooning sex is one of the easiest positions to use, there are ways to make it even better.
- If you feel you can’t accommodate a lot of length, a cock ring will automatically reduce the length of a penis or dildo, meaning there’s less chance of going too deep. If you use a vibrating one it adds a new sensation, too. Alternatively, if you want to go even deeper, think about using a longer dildo or vibrator.
- Spooning is the perfect position for trying anal sex, because the fact that the knees will be drawn up means that the opening naturally expands. Using plenty of lube will ensure things go as smoothly as possible, and because it is such a relaxing position, you will both be as chilled as you can be; that will help matters, too.
- Whispering sweet nothings – or not-so-sweet nothings – is easy with this position because the outside partner’s mouth is right next to the insider’s ear. Increase the feel-good factor by telling them gently how you feel, or kink things up by whispering dirty words. The fact that the listener can’t see the speaker’s face can even allow for fantasies about having sex with a stranger, too.
- If you want to explore a darker side of sex, don’t make the mistake of thinking that spooning is too vanilla, because it offers endless opportunities for adding a bit of BDSM into the mix. Hair pulling and throat holding are super simple from this angle, and it gives unrivalled access to nipples for using clamps, or even just rougher-than-usual squeezing and pinching. If you want to introduce rough play, though, make sure you have your partner’s consent first, and agree on a safe word, too.
- Make full use of your hands. If you’re positioned behind, you can use your hands or toys to stimulate her clitoris or his penis or balls. If you are at the front, you can masturbate yourself to make things extra pleasurable. For most people, the sight and sound of their partner bringing themselves off is enough to drive them over the edge.
Best spooning sex positions to try
It would be easy to think that spooning sex involves just one position, but you’d be wrong. While they are all variations on a theme, you can stir up the spooning action with a few simple adjustments.
1. The Traditional Spoon
The position that started it all, the traditional spoon involves both partners lying on their side and facing the same way. With each partner bending the knees, it’s easy for the person behind to enter the one in front while also keeping their arms around them.
2. Doggy Style with a Difference
An easy position to move into from the traditional spoon, this one requires the front person to move their upper body away from their partner’s chest, almost at right angles. Just like the doggy style, but lying on the side, this position allows for really deep penetration, and is great for giving the big spoon access to their partner’s hair if they fancy getting a little rough.
3. Leg Lift
By lifting their upper leg, the little spoon give their partner better access to their genitals, because separating the legs literally opens them up. Not as athletic as it sounds, the leg can either be held up in the air, or, if that makes their muscles ache, can be draped back over their partner’s hip or waist. By moving the position of the leg, you can also change the angle of penetration.
4. Leg Cuddle
Having big spoon drape their leg over little spoon will add even more intimacy and comfort to the sex, because not only do they have their arms around their partner but can also hold them close with their leg. This also gives big spoon more control, as they can use their thigh or foot to pull their partner back onto them.
5. Sitting Spoon
If you love taking or being taken from behind but want to add a little variation to traditional spooning, try adapting the position to a seated one. Perfect for a chair or edge of the bed, the partner behind sits down and allows the other to slide onto them back to the chest, achieving penetration in much the same way.
However, doing it this way allows gravity to join in, and the combination of body weight and angle will create a really deep penetration that is perfectly placed to hit the G-Spot.
6. On your Back
Get really adventurous with spooning by trying this position, but bear in mind it does require a bit more effort. Big spoon lies flat on their back, and little spoon then sits on top, facing their partner’s feet.
After lowering themselves onto their partner for penetration, the one on top then lies slowly back so their back is against their partner’s chest, using their hands and feet to control the speed and movement.
Far from being the vanilla position, it’s thought to be, spooning sex is a great way to add intimacy to a relationship, as well as being the perfect basis for all kinds of variations.
As you will see when you give it a go, spooning sex allows for exploration and masturbation of each other as well as yourself.
It’s also a fab opportunity for using sex toys, either as a fun tool or to control the depth of penetration.
If it’s something you’ve shied away from in the past because it’s just too tame, try some of the tips included above, and you’ll never look back.