lesbian couple making out

The “GGG approach”: Are you good, giving and game?

It appears to be self-evident that what makes someone a fantastic sex partner is similar sexual experiences, the same amount of time, and someone who is eager to play with everything within reason. And you’ll easily attract someone like that if you’re good, giving, and game.

This is Dan Savage’s reasoning and it all somehow makes sense. The American author, and LGBT community activist, after researching and constantly requesting feedback from his audience, came up with numerous theories on each of the three points – Good, Giving, and Game.

The details go much more in-depth than only three letters, and we will go through all the details here, as well as how the GGG approach benefits a relationship.

What does GGG mean?

GGG is a term invented by American author and LGBT community activist Dan Savage to describe the characteristics he believes make for a great sexual partner. GGG stands for “Good, Giving, and Game.”

“Good” is being good in bed, “Giving” is giving equal pleasure and time, and “Game” is meant to describe having fun in the bedroom with anything but within reason.

GGG partners are always up for trying new things and keeping the bedroom fun. Whether it’s trying new positions, experimenting with new toys, or just going all out in bed, GGG partners know how to keep things exciting. They’re always willing to give as much as they get, ensuring everyone is enjoying themselves.

And that’s exactly how it benefits a relationship; let’s elaborate on that.


Woman holding handcuffs

How does the GGG approach benefit a relationship?

The GGG approach is highly beneficial for couples because it helps keep the relationship fresh and exciting. GGG partners are always up for trying new things and keeping the bedroom fun.


Being good at sex is not necessarily easy, and it takes a lot of practice and potential failures to become good at it. As we grew up, we were taught by adult movies, TV shows, and even magazines that sex is easy, doesn’t require any skill, or even happens if you’re lucky.

Even worse, when hiring an escort, it’s easy for the man to enjoy himself, but making the other party, the woman, enjoy is far from easy. And that’s the whole purpose of paying an escort, for the man to enjoy himself, and not so much caring for the woman.

Sex is much more complex than it seems and getting good at it takes a lot of effort and practice. Just finding the right partner is not enough in any way. How many movies have we watched where the guy or gal took down his or her trousers and started kissing spontaneously?

It’s no wonder many of us don’t feel ready to have sex with a partner when we’re just beginning our journey to understand what it means for us. For some, taking an extra step like learning how to communicate about desires can make all the difference in developing the emotional maturity needed at this stage.

Savage said that all couples have to “unlearn” all of this, learn what makes partners feel good, reach orgasm, and put in the effort needed to be “Good.” And being physically attracted to each other is only the beginning and won’t impact how good you are at sex.


Giving your partner the same time and pleasure is the second rule of the GGG approach, and, just like the first point, it isn’t that straightforward. Savage gave the example of a blowjob – giving a good blowjob or cunnilingus is not only sucking and using the mouth, it goes way beyond that. To give a good blowjob, you should use your hands and breast and work on the balls and shaft rather than the head only.

And the same goes for other things, may it be weird fetishes, playing with sex toys, or giving an erotic massage.

The art of seduction is a delicate balance between giving and taking. Some people enjoy being pursued, while others need time to themselves before they can be touched again; always ensure your partner feels desired no matter what side you fall on.

The perfect sexual encounter starts with chemistry—and there’s nothing like starting off right by agreement about who’ll do what when (or if) things get hot and heavy. But sometimes we have different ideas: maybe he wants oral sex, but she only wants an erotic massage. And that’s the whole idea of “Giving” – Reciprocity.


Good sex is diverse, and refreshing, and should involve new positions that both partners are considering. For instance, it’s not only about doggy style and 69; your partner may think about other activities, like french kissing, oral sex, or even mutual masturbation. While you may not be into it at first, this is all “Game” is about, playing with each other – within reasonable limits.

Respect is a crucial part of the “Game” point and should be valued. Not everyone would agree to have a threesome or a cuckolding experience, to name only a couple, and, as the partner, you should understand this.

But who knows, by adapting to your partner a little bit, you may just find your new turn-on, and you might not be able to come without anymore.

How far should you go?

Like other kinds of sex-related games, the GGG approach has boundaries that none of the partners should cross – reasonable and unreasonable limits.

It could be mutually masturbating, foot fetish, or oral sex when we talk about reasonable ones. Whether you’re in a romantic relationship or a friends with benefits agreement, these are relatively reasonable requests.

If your partner loves feet and wants you to crush his face with your feet, well, that’s not really unreasonable from your point of view. Of course, you may not understand his fetish, but it doesn’t require much energy from your side and will arouse your partner greatly, so why not?

The same goes with mutual masturbation – you both definitely masturbated before, so there’s no reason not to try it if your partner is into it.

On the other hand, hard limits are something like cuckolding or pissing on your partner. These are considered as unreasonable if you don’t feel comfortable with either, and you shouldn’t feel forced to do them.

After all, understanding your other half is one thing, but seeing them with another person or having to pee on their face is certainly not to everyone’s taste, so it’s essential to understand the difference.

If you’re really not into their fetish, find a middle ground and reasonably adapt to them. To give you an idea, instead of peeing on them, receiving oral sex and finishing in his mouth is a good alternative. Or watching a porn movie while having sex could be an alternative to cuckolding, although quite different.

The whole idea of the GGG approach is to respect each other, give and receive good sex, and adapt to each other to make the most of it.

Couple holding hands while making love

So, are you game?

The benefits of the GGG approach to your relationship will be well worth it. Plus, who knows – you may even learn something new about yourself in the process. Overall, engaging in sexual activity that is both physically and emotionally pleasing to your partner is one of the best things you can do for your relationship.

The GGG approach ultimately fosters intimacy, strengthens bonds, and leads to a more fulfilling partnership. Of course, it’s essential to keep things within reasonable limits – going too far or forcing to please a fetish can actually have the opposite effect – but as long as you maintain a healthy balance, enjoying sex together is likely to benefit both of you immensely.

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